After school today...
The children get in the car.
Precious, "I am SO EXCITED!"
Me ,"Why Precious, what happened today?"
Precious says "I am going to the SAME Jr high as my friend!!" ( this in in two years mind you :)
Shannan "Precious, your friend may be nice to you now, but when she's in Jr Hi she may change. People change Precious. People change." (Shannan is 8)
Precious "BUT! BUT! NO!!!!! SHE is a NICE girl. She will be my friend and she will be nice."
Shannan "Well, in Jr High people change Precious. That's all I'm saying. People change Precious. People change."
Such wisdom from an 8 yr old and such angst from an 11 yr old who is frustrated with the 8 yr old.
I had to stop the conversation there.
Keanu ( 11 ) was in the front seat. He was rolling his eyes and I wanted to say "You think this is horrible right now, but some day you'll look back and laugh, because people change Keanu....people change."
It was quiet the enlightening day today...this and the Segregated Christmas Tree ( I wanna change it....but don't dare because it'll upset the girls.) Read the post below if you haven't already...talks about our tree decorating experience. :)
Monday, December 7, 2009
Christmas On Planet Hansen - Oh Christmas Tree!
So, I havent gotten a photo of it yet ( tomorrow), but I had to write about our Christmas Tree decorating experience. It was interesting. I took the kids to buy their ornament for the year. We do that every year with the understanding that once they are married we will give them their ornaments they have collected over the years. We came home with the ornaments and I gave them "old" ornaments and told them they could decorate the tree. I watched from the couch as they worked together to make the tree pretty. Pretty soon I could see that Precious and Shannan were segregating all of the "brown angels" to the same part of the tree...all clustered together. Then they put all the "white angels" together. They put all the nutcrackers in a group together and it was freaking me out a little. I tried to see it from a childs eyes...young children sort things into categories ( colors, styles, etc...) but still. I told them that the tree was a multi-cultural tree ( I had to explain multi-cultural :). I asked them if they thought we should put the white and brown angels together. Both Precious and Shannan said "NO!" I asked why not. They explained to me that the brown angels were in Ghana....and that they were the Ghana Angels. Sweet. But I will have to explain that to every person who sees our tree....and sees all the brown angels all on the same branches together :) This also makes it harder for me to come behind them and "fix" it up a little....some of the ornaments are hanging 3 to a branch. They'll know if I desegregate the tree like I want to. I love seeing the mixture of culture on our tree. We have Japanese ornaments, German ornaments, Russian ornaments, UNICEF ornaments and Hallmark ornaments that show Mexico, Africa, Germany and China. We have fish ornaments from Monterey...and it's always just been fun to "mix it up". I won't mess with the tree. Kekeli , Precious and Shannan loved decorating. Keanu put up his ornament and then disappeared upstairs. He was sick of girls. :) Anyway....I thought I'd share my Christmas tree experience. Does anyone else have a tree with all of the cultures segregated .... and ornaments hanging 3 or 4 to a branch? Maybe I will start sneaking a white angel into the group of the Ghana Angels...and a nutcracker in with the fish :)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen-Proud
Here I am with my son Stephen. He's now an official fire fighter for the US Air Force and he is now in Okinawa for his first assignment. I heard from him last night. My good friend Colleen and her family live there and they picked him up to take him to church. They introduced him to some of the young single adults at church in his new ward. I am sure he's going to love this new chapter in his life ( most of the time, it is life after all. Can't always be perfect). Anyway, he came home for 3 days and it was so nice to have him here.
I am so proud of him.
LIfe on Planet Hansen-Christmas Scarecrows
Santa Scarecrows last photo. Now they are back living in the basement. I don't want to totally confuse the children with the idea that Santa Scarecrows actually exist. The Christmas Spider is also gone. :)
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Secrets and Beliefs
Yesterday at the beauty salon as I watched the girls get their hair braided I learned a lot. The first was about Precious' belief that the hole on her ear ( just an indention on the skin on top of her ear, behind) makes her mean. In Ghana she was told that the hole on her ear is what makes her mean. I told her that in America it doesn't make her mean. :) At the beauty shop yesterday there was a woman, Charity, who was born and raised in Nigeria. She braids the girls hair with Michelle. I told her about this and she said "Oh yes! This is an African belief! Let me see the hole." She looked at it and said "Yes, this hole is what they say ( in Africa) makes the child mean." I asked her if she knows where that belief came from or why and she said she didn't. It's just something they believe. So the lady, Michelle, who does the girls hair ( and she's also a reverend) she told Precious as well that it's not true. I told her it's our choices that make us mean or not, not something on our skin. She's been telling me that hole makes her mean the whole time she's lived here.
Another thing I learned was about Kekeli. After Kekeli and Precious were done with their braids they were waiting on Shannan. Kekeli had Charity's daughter on her lap ( she's about 4) and I saw that she was messing with her hair. She had some extra hair from the hair Michelle was using and she had weaved it into Charity's hair and was braiding it, just like Michelle and Charity had done to Kekeli. All of this time Kekeli has known how to braid hair. Michelle came and looked at the braid and said "She could come to work for me next week!" :) She was kidding of course, but still...we learned Kekeli can braid.
Last thing, not as fun...Shannan. She has her 5th staph infection this year. She just told me about it today. She's had it a couple of days and was afraid to tell me. She knows we'll have to go to the Dr and they'll have to test it for MRSA. We've had to do this to many times and every time has been traumatic for her. They can't numb the skin. They get the puss out and test it to see what strain of staph it is. We arent sure why she gets so many. We use clean towels, clean clothes ( towels bleached and washed in warm to hot water). She bathes in a clean tub. I'm not sure why this is happening. Every time it does I worry.
This has been an educational and busy couple of days. I feel that the next few days will be even more so as we finish decorating the yard and house for Christmas. My dad is here and he is doing it for us. We help him where we can, but he's a pro at it. We haven't started the inside yet. The tree is still in the box. No worries and no hurries. It'll happen.
Another thing I learned was about Kekeli. After Kekeli and Precious were done with their braids they were waiting on Shannan. Kekeli had Charity's daughter on her lap ( she's about 4) and I saw that she was messing with her hair. She had some extra hair from the hair Michelle was using and she had weaved it into Charity's hair and was braiding it, just like Michelle and Charity had done to Kekeli. All of this time Kekeli has known how to braid hair. Michelle came and looked at the braid and said "She could come to work for me next week!" :) She was kidding of course, but still...we learned Kekeli can braid.
Last thing, not as fun...Shannan. She has her 5th staph infection this year. She just told me about it today. She's had it a couple of days and was afraid to tell me. She knows we'll have to go to the Dr and they'll have to test it for MRSA. We've had to do this to many times and every time has been traumatic for her. They can't numb the skin. They get the puss out and test it to see what strain of staph it is. We arent sure why she gets so many. We use clean towels, clean clothes ( towels bleached and washed in warm to hot water). She bathes in a clean tub. I'm not sure why this is happening. Every time it does I worry.
This has been an educational and busy couple of days. I feel that the next few days will be even more so as we finish decorating the yard and house for Christmas. My dad is here and he is doing it for us. We help him where we can, but he's a pro at it. We haven't started the inside yet. The tree is still in the box. No worries and no hurries. It'll happen.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Hairy Day on Planet Hansen
I am including some photo's on the blog of Shannan, Precious and Kekeli and their awesome new braids. No more will Shannan be ignored on the aisles of Wallymart when the women stop to admire Kekeli and Precious braids. Shannan would be ignored and then say "Am I not pretty too? Why do they only say it to Kekeli and Precious?" She wanted braids, so now she'll be admired as well. :) Thanks Michelle and her ladies at M & H Salon in Roy Utah. My hair angels...she's got a website www.mhsalonpro.com or if you want her phone number you can contact me. She's awesome. I love taking the girls there. It's fun and personal and she and the ladies there do a wonderful job. So, scroll down allllllllllllll the way down to the bottom of the blog to see pictures of the girls. They are so happy. They got the individual braids. They look so cute! I am hoping Shannan will start a trend and more little white girls will start getting their hair braided. It's cute! She wants to be like her big sisters. Just wanted to share the day. Check out the photo's at the bottom. :) It was a long day, getting three girls hair braided. Thanks Michelle for always being there to help us in our hair emergencies!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Language on Planet Hansen - Idioms and Slang
The girls are starting to pick up little idioms and slang. Yesterday when Shannan said "I like gum" Kekeli replied with "Join. The. Club. " :) It was cute. Precious however got a bit confused and said "Peter, Peter Pants on Fire!" She either meant Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater...or Liar Liar Pants on Fire. She combined them. When I said the Peter Peter rhyme they both asked "What does that MEAN!?" Funny....one thing at a time. Kekeli also likes to say "dude" or "okay dude" to everyone. Sometimes I have to says "Um, dude is not a good thing to say to an older person..." She's learning. Precious sometimes corrects Kekeli's language. Kekeli does NOT like that :) They have been truly Americanized because they say "like" every other word. THAT was the FIRST thing that changed in their language when they got here. :) It's been fun hearing the changes in their vocabulary and hearing them grow in the language....and have fun with it. :)They are smart girls. Kekeli would say "Duh". :) We've had to chat about when "duh" is appropriate too.
My dad is here from Texas and they are learning to understand Texan :) My dad has a heavy West Texas accent. They seem to be understanding him well. So far Precious hasn't said "Why do you talk so funny Papa Mac?" :)
My dad is here from Texas and they are learning to understand Texan :) My dad has a heavy West Texas accent. They seem to be understanding him well. So far Precious hasn't said "Why do you talk so funny Papa Mac?" :)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Growing up is hard to do
Tonight I was sitting on the couch with my oldest son, Stephen, who is almost 25 years old. He's just finished fire fighter training for the Air Force and is off to hi s first real assignment tomorrow. He's going to Okinawa. He's going to fight fires, train to save people...and other scary stuff that a mom doesn't want to think about her child doing. I am proud of him though. He'll do well in this job. It's a job that he can feel proud of. I don't think any of us can imagine a world without firemen. :)
At the same time as we were chatting my youngest child, Shannan (8yrs) was putting on a Christmas show with a song, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, all with her mouth closed. Interesting. She's a funny girl.
Upstairs Keanu was in bed. Today was his 12th birthday and we celebrated it with Stephen during the day. Keanu stayed home from school and we ate out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We went shopping and had a nice day. This afternoon/evening we took the whole family to dinner and had ice cream at home. Keanu was happy, yet melancoly. He's sad Stephen is leaving. I asked him if he wants to come down tomorrow morning to say goodbye to Stephen and he said "Yes and no." He said he wants to say goodbye, but it's to hard. He's missing his brothers and dad. My dad comes tomorrow and I think it's perfect timing for Keanu. Stephen is also meloncholy about leaving when he knows Keanu is sad.
Kekeli and Precious have had an easier time saying goodbye to Stephen, but they'll miss him too. As for me.....I am so proud of my older children for growing up, going to school, getting jobs, going on missions...but I miss them. I worry about them. Mixed emotions that mothers have. I think that watching our children grow up and become adults gives us a sense of satisfaction, but we never quit worrying.
I agree with what a friend said to me recently about how SHE feels in regards to her children. She said "My children have grown up to be amazing adults in spite of me, not because of me." I feel the same way. I am so proud of them. As for the younger four at home. They have some tough times ahead. Being 12, 13, 14, 15....we all remember those years. I don't recall them as the most enjoyable years of my life, but I won't tell my young ones that :) Im in for some rocky times with them, as the hormones kick in. I have the best of both worlds....a house full of young kids and four out of the house who are productive, smart, educated young adults who I am very proud of.
I hope that as my younger kids grow up that I can keep from screwing them up. :) I'm an emotional mama right now. I think it being the holidays makes me more emotional. As for my kids, I'm proud of them. But watching them grow up and leave home is hard for me to do, although it's the right thing for them to do. I want to see them every day. We can't see Stephen, Sara, Nikki and Kameron every day. I miss having them around. BUT I have have four other kids at home who keep me busy and that makes me happy. I love all of my children. Watching them grow up so fast is hard for me to do
At the same time as we were chatting my youngest child, Shannan (8yrs) was putting on a Christmas show with a song, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, all with her mouth closed. Interesting. She's a funny girl.
Upstairs Keanu was in bed. Today was his 12th birthday and we celebrated it with Stephen during the day. Keanu stayed home from school and we ate out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We went shopping and had a nice day. This afternoon/evening we took the whole family to dinner and had ice cream at home. Keanu was happy, yet melancoly. He's sad Stephen is leaving. I asked him if he wants to come down tomorrow morning to say goodbye to Stephen and he said "Yes and no." He said he wants to say goodbye, but it's to hard. He's missing his brothers and dad. My dad comes tomorrow and I think it's perfect timing for Keanu. Stephen is also meloncholy about leaving when he knows Keanu is sad.
Kekeli and Precious have had an easier time saying goodbye to Stephen, but they'll miss him too. As for me.....I am so proud of my older children for growing up, going to school, getting jobs, going on missions...but I miss them. I worry about them. Mixed emotions that mothers have. I think that watching our children grow up and become adults gives us a sense of satisfaction, but we never quit worrying.
I agree with what a friend said to me recently about how SHE feels in regards to her children. She said "My children have grown up to be amazing adults in spite of me, not because of me." I feel the same way. I am so proud of them. As for the younger four at home. They have some tough times ahead. Being 12, 13, 14, 15....we all remember those years. I don't recall them as the most enjoyable years of my life, but I won't tell my young ones that :) Im in for some rocky times with them, as the hormones kick in. I have the best of both worlds....a house full of young kids and four out of the house who are productive, smart, educated young adults who I am very proud of.
I hope that as my younger kids grow up that I can keep from screwing them up. :) I'm an emotional mama right now. I think it being the holidays makes me more emotional. As for my kids, I'm proud of them. But watching them grow up and leave home is hard for me to do, although it's the right thing for them to do. I want to see them every day. We can't see Stephen, Sara, Nikki and Kameron every day. I miss having them around. BUT I have have four other kids at home who keep me busy and that makes me happy. I love all of my children. Watching them grow up so fast is hard for me to do
Monday, November 30, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - To Braid or Not to Braid -That is the question
The girls all have an appointment on Friday. Kekeli and Precious are getting braids. Individual ones this time, not crocheted. Shannan said
"I want braids too!!" Kekeli and Precious get to go to the beauty shop about every 4 to 6 weeks to get their hair done. Shannan is getting jealous. She's only 8, so really there isn't any real reason for her to be going to the beauty salon, but this time I am letting her go. Michelle, who
is our hair angel, is going to have someone do something special just for Shannan. She may come out with braids, or maybe not. It will be interesting to see. :) I want to thank Michelle for being so patient with me and with Kekeli and with Precious as we learn our way around doing hair. Thanks Michelle! I'll take a picture on Friday and post it. You'll be able to see if Shannan decided to go for individual blonde braids, or just a trim and a style. :)
"I want braids too!!" Kekeli and Precious get to go to the beauty shop about every 4 to 6 weeks to get their hair done. Shannan is getting jealous. She's only 8, so really there isn't any real reason for her to be going to the beauty salon, but this time I am letting her go. Michelle, who
is our hair angel, is going to have someone do something special just for Shannan. She may come out with braids, or maybe not. It will be interesting to see. :) I want to thank Michelle for being so patient with me and with Kekeli and with Precious as we learn our way around doing hair. Thanks Michelle! I'll take a picture on Friday and post it. You'll be able to see if Shannan decided to go for individual blonde braids, or just a trim and a style. :)
Planet Stress-How Do YOU do it?!
I have an announcement to make. It may shock some of you so sit down.
I am NOT perfect.
Nope, I'm not....you can stop gasping. It's true. I am not even close.
I am busy. This week I have my son home from his Air Force training. He's officially an Air Force Fireman! I'm proud of him. He leaves to his new assignment on Wednesday this week. Keanu's sad. He just said bye to Kameron. He's not ready for his big brother to leave. My dad comes to visit on Wednesday. Keanu's happy.He needs to have "guy time". I have tutors for the girls this week and I'm taking them the other tutors. They have dance, piano, church activity day, hair appointments, Keanu's birthday, gotta pay the bills, Stephen leaving, my dad coming, school appointments with the Jr High...the tutoring service....and it goes on and on. Boy Scouts...that starts next week. My dad will help out with that. I still have THANKSGIVING decorations up. Can I put an elf hat on my scare crows? How about a wreath around their necks? The tree....gotta get that up. CHRISTMAS SHOPPING...read my other post about that.....+ I'm stressed and I wanna cry. Then I think of all of the ladies who have raised more than 6 children or more.....and they work, and they have GREAT kids. HOW DID YOU DO IT!??
I am NOT perfect.
Nope, I'm not....you can stop gasping. It's true. I am not even close.
I am busy. This week I have my son home from his Air Force training. He's officially an Air Force Fireman! I'm proud of him. He leaves to his new assignment on Wednesday this week. Keanu's sad. He just said bye to Kameron. He's not ready for his big brother to leave. My dad comes to visit on Wednesday. Keanu's happy.He needs to have "guy time". I have tutors for the girls this week and I'm taking them the other tutors. They have dance, piano, church activity day, hair appointments, Keanu's birthday, gotta pay the bills, Stephen leaving, my dad coming, school appointments with the Jr High...the tutoring service....and it goes on and on. Boy Scouts...that starts next week. My dad will help out with that. I still have THANKSGIVING decorations up. Can I put an elf hat on my scare crows? How about a wreath around their necks? The tree....gotta get that up. CHRISTMAS SHOPPING...read my other post about that.....+ I'm stressed and I wanna cry. Then I think of all of the ladies who have raised more than 6 children or more.....and they work, and they have GREAT kids. HOW DID YOU DO IT!??
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Attitude
When it comes to Christmas shopping I need an attitude adjustment. I'm
trying to be more positive this year as I begin ( when many of you are DONE!) Christmas shopping, it actually makes me get a headache and nauseous. Why do we need so much stuff? I do have to say, I'm very blessed that I have children who don't ask for a lot of stuff. But still, there are presents to buy.
I enjoy seeing the Christmas lights. I love hearing Christmas music. Making a ginger bread house is fun. Smelling cinnamon, cloves and ginger is nice. Those are my favorite parts of Christmas. The shopping is not even on my list of favorite things about Christmas. I strongly dislike it. :)
Today when I was driving home from church I asked Kekeli and Precious about Christmas in Ghana ( again, just in case the story changes..so far it hasn't).
I asked Precious what she did at Christmas and she just said "Santa didn't come to Ghana." It wasn't a memory for her. I am sure it was just another day. She wasn't upset about it, just wasn't happy about it either. Indifference is a good word.
I asked Kekeli what she did and she smiled as she reminisced about Christmas' past in Ghana. She said "We go to church and we sing and have our family and friends and good food and have a BIG party!" I asked her if they gave or got presents ( knowing the answer was no, but wanting her to say it so my other little ones could hear). She smiled and said "No, but we had FUN!" So Christmas can be fun even without presents.
Santa will come to our house this year. I will still buy some presents, but I will slowly tone it down so that Christmas is more about Christ and his birth, family and remembering how blessed we are in our lives and less about "Stuff". We can have fewer presents and focus more on having FUN! :) I am hoping I can get all my Christmas shopping done in one day, on line...then I can concentrate on the good stuff, family and food, sights, smells and the Christmas spirit. Let's not forget those who won't get a visit from Santa. Let's not forget those who will be alone at Christmas. Let's all try to find ONE thing we can do for some other person or family who may be having a difficult time this year. Let's remember we don't need presents at Christmas in order for it to be FUN!
I'll try hard to have a better attitude toward the shopping part. :)
trying to be more positive this year as I begin ( when many of you are DONE!) Christmas shopping, it actually makes me get a headache and nauseous. Why do we need so much stuff? I do have to say, I'm very blessed that I have children who don't ask for a lot of stuff. But still, there are presents to buy.
I enjoy seeing the Christmas lights. I love hearing Christmas music. Making a ginger bread house is fun. Smelling cinnamon, cloves and ginger is nice. Those are my favorite parts of Christmas. The shopping is not even on my list of favorite things about Christmas. I strongly dislike it. :)
Today when I was driving home from church I asked Kekeli and Precious about Christmas in Ghana ( again, just in case the story changes..so far it hasn't).
I asked Precious what she did at Christmas and she just said "Santa didn't come to Ghana." It wasn't a memory for her. I am sure it was just another day. She wasn't upset about it, just wasn't happy about it either. Indifference is a good word.
I asked Kekeli what she did and she smiled as she reminisced about Christmas' past in Ghana. She said "We go to church and we sing and have our family and friends and good food and have a BIG party!" I asked her if they gave or got presents ( knowing the answer was no, but wanting her to say it so my other little ones could hear). She smiled and said "No, but we had FUN!" So Christmas can be fun even without presents.
Santa will come to our house this year. I will still buy some presents, but I will slowly tone it down so that Christmas is more about Christ and his birth, family and remembering how blessed we are in our lives and less about "Stuff". We can have fewer presents and focus more on having FUN! :) I am hoping I can get all my Christmas shopping done in one day, on line...then I can concentrate on the good stuff, family and food, sights, smells and the Christmas spirit. Let's not forget those who won't get a visit from Santa. Let's not forget those who will be alone at Christmas. Let's all try to find ONE thing we can do for some other person or family who may be having a difficult time this year. Let's remember we don't need presents at Christmas in order for it to be FUN!
I'll try hard to have a better attitude toward the shopping part. :)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Planet Hansen- Moods
I am back from Texas. I have had a week of visiting family. I went alone. My kids stayed here with their aunt, Mary Jo. She is awesome. THANK YOU MARY JO! Anyway, the kids are happy that Stephen came home with me. Keanu is in seventh heaven having a big brother home. Stephen leaves Wed though...short stay. Kekeli and Precious were happy to see him as well. Shannan is so happy she keeps punching him and crying :) Her way of staying "Please stay". Let's see. Kameron left for his mission. Ron left for a business trip. I left for Texas. Stephen came home with me. Mary Jo left. Dad is still gone. She's confused. She misses her brothers and her dad. Her way of showing her frustration is new. Normally she'd just retreat and go somewhere and hide or be quiet. Tonight she was crying and I asked her why. Shannan cried and said "Someone stole my career!" I'm like "What?" She said "Someone STOLE MY CAREER!" boo hoos and crying....I asked her "What was your career? You're 8!" She said "I was going to be a professional bowler!!!!!!!!" Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Okayyyy.Then she said "AND I DON'T have ANY FRIENDSSSSSSSSSS!" Wahhhhhhhhhh. Wow. Shannan is not a cryer. Then she said "I don't even have any spares!" I thought she meant spare friends, she meant spares as in her profession, bowling. :) I have no idea why she wants to be a professional bowler, but..."okay". That would be different. I wish he could stay longer. My dad comes the day Stephen leaves. My dad will leave, then a week later Ron will come home. We miss him. To much coming and going. I'm happy...but sad for Shannan that she lost her career as a professional bowler. :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Planet Hansen-All I want for Christmas
As Christmas approaches memories take me back to LAST Christmas, when we had our first Christmas with Kekeli and Precious. I tried to prepare them for an "American" style Christmas. I knew that all of the decorations, media advertising, peers talking about Santa, etc.. would bring up confusion and questions. So I would talk to them about what we do, etc...before Thanksgiving even came around ( that's another story, Thanksgiving :). I am a person who doesn't like the gift part. I like the taste of Christmas, the smell of Christmas and the decorations and spirit of Christmas. The materialistic side,well, it actually makes me physically ill and stressed. So I asked Kekeli "In Ghana, did you do anything special to celebrate Christmas day?" She said "Yes." I asked her what she did and she said "We went to church and we celebrate Jesus birth. We sing songs and we eat food." I smiled. Because that is the way it should be. Precious however said "Why didn't Santa come to Africa?" I asked her if she knew who Santa was when she was in Africa. She said she didn't know Santa. I said "That's why he didn't come. Because he knew that no
one in Africa knew him so he couldn't come. But in America he goes to almost all of the houses." She said "Then for Christmas I will ask for a pony, TV, cell phone, lap top, watch....skates....etc, so on and so forth." She's young and excited and wants "stuff" from Santa, but she sure as heck will NOT be getting all of the things on her list.. Normal for that age. She absolutely believes in Santa. :) Kekeli was right on with the answer that Christmas is about celebrating the Birth of Christmas. She doesn't believe in Santa. She smirks and holds back a laugh when Precious talks about it, but I whisper ( it's okay Kekeli, let her believe). This Thanksgiving I am thankful for family and friends. I love my family and friends. I am so blessed to have all that I do. Most of all I am thankful for my husband and children. I love them so much. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! ( I'm in Texas, so the Turkey will be BIG, cuz everything's bigger in Texas!:)
one in Africa knew him so he couldn't come. But in America he goes to almost all of the houses." She said "Then for Christmas I will ask for a pony, TV, cell phone, lap top, watch....skates....etc, so on and so forth." She's young and excited and wants "stuff" from Santa, but she sure as heck will NOT be getting all of the things on her list.. Normal for that age. She absolutely believes in Santa. :) Kekeli was right on with the answer that Christmas is about celebrating the Birth of Christmas. She doesn't believe in Santa. She smirks and holds back a laugh when Precious talks about it, but I whisper ( it's okay Kekeli, let her believe). This Thanksgiving I am thankful for family and friends. I love my family and friends. I am so blessed to have all that I do. Most of all I am thankful for my husband and children. I love them so much. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! ( I'm in Texas, so the Turkey will be BIG, cuz everything's bigger in Texas!:)
Friday, November 20, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - The Birthday Party
Poor Precious. I know she feels picked on. She's social and she talks a lot, so it puts her in more of a position to find trouble. I think that is why Kekeli is so quiet :) Anyway, the other day Precious came home with a birthday invitation. SO EXCITED. I was happy for her too. I took it and asked her "So, when is the party?"
She said "Today"
(It is after 4pm on the busiest day of our week...tutoring, piano and dance just bam, bam, bam)
"Today? What time?"
"5:30"
"When did you get the invitation?" (I'm being nice)
"Monday"
"Well, Precious. I wish you could go but you can't. We are to busy this afternoon and I don't have time to change the schedule."
"BUT I WANT TO GO!!!"
"I know you do and I'm sorry you can't. Next time you get an invitation give it to me THAT DAY so I can plan. Don't carry it in your back pack and wait to give it to me at the last minute."
"BUT"
"Precious , no. You can't go."
(crocodile tears well up in her eyes)
"But"
"Precious, I said no....."
She starts wailing.
I tell her to go upstairs ( it's nigerian soap opera crying...oscar award winning crying). She WANTS people to witness this performance, so I send her to her room.
She yells.
She shouts.
She cries.
She howls.
She comes out....crying.
I tell her "If you can stop crying you can come out"
(these aren't quiet sniffles, it's all out freak out)
She comes down, stops crying.
I turn my back, she is in the computer room where the tutor is trying to teach Kekeli.
Precious has these huge tears just rolling down her cheek. She's hoping the tutor will notice and pity her.
I come in, say "Precious, come out of the room."
She comes out and starts wailing again.
I tell her to go back to her room until she can stop.
(at this point I WANT TO WAIL TOO!!!)
Eventually she stops.
Hallelujia!
She comes down the stairs, smiling, like nothing EVER happenend.
Okie dokie....I don't question it. I'm nice, she's dry eyed....all is well.
Next morning, she's in the computer room (open room) and Keanu is on the computer.
She says she wants it.
I tell her "He was there first".
She starts to argue with me.
I hold up my hand....tell her to stop.
She starts to talk back.
I take her into the classroom, sit her down with a piece of paper and her start writing. "I will not talk back to mom". "I will not argue with mom".
She's hating it. She and Kekeli said they'd both RATHER be beat than have to be grounded or write sentences :)
Of course, I never have beat them....
but I do send kids to their room or make them write sentences if they are out of line.
I spoke to Precious after about what happened, why she had to write the sentences.
She was mad. So was I.
:)
Ah......so much more drama that I will skip over that happened afterward. Let's just say that it was not a fun morning or evening at all.....
AT ALLLLLLL.
But, it was a learning moment. She learned that she needs to give birthday invitations to be as soon as she gets them.
That was not a fun experience for her or for me.
Learning isn't always easy.
The next birthday invitation she gets she will hopefully remember to bring it home right away.
The afternoon came crashing down on us all because of a birthday party.
I want you to know that there are days Precious is a bouncy, happy little girl....like Tigger on Winnie the Pooh. She's perky, energetic and happy.
Then there are days that she is not.
It's just life.
I'm just sharing.
I know I am blessed. I learn from my stress days. So, it's all good.
I go to Texas for a week, this coming.
My sis in law is coming to tend. She has 3 young children of her own. She's
amazing. I hope my kids will be really, really good for her.
She said "Today"
(It is after 4pm on the busiest day of our week...tutoring, piano and dance just bam, bam, bam)
"Today? What time?"
"5:30"
"When did you get the invitation?" (I'm being nice)
"Monday"
"Well, Precious. I wish you could go but you can't. We are to busy this afternoon and I don't have time to change the schedule."
"BUT I WANT TO GO!!!"
"I know you do and I'm sorry you can't. Next time you get an invitation give it to me THAT DAY so I can plan. Don't carry it in your back pack and wait to give it to me at the last minute."
"BUT"
"Precious , no. You can't go."
(crocodile tears well up in her eyes)
"But"
"Precious, I said no....."
She starts wailing.
I tell her to go upstairs ( it's nigerian soap opera crying...oscar award winning crying). She WANTS people to witness this performance, so I send her to her room.
She yells.
She shouts.
She cries.
She howls.
She comes out....crying.
I tell her "If you can stop crying you can come out"
(these aren't quiet sniffles, it's all out freak out)
She comes down, stops crying.
I turn my back, she is in the computer room where the tutor is trying to teach Kekeli.
Precious has these huge tears just rolling down her cheek. She's hoping the tutor will notice and pity her.
I come in, say "Precious, come out of the room."
She comes out and starts wailing again.
I tell her to go back to her room until she can stop.
(at this point I WANT TO WAIL TOO!!!)
Eventually she stops.
Hallelujia!
She comes down the stairs, smiling, like nothing EVER happenend.
Okie dokie....I don't question it. I'm nice, she's dry eyed....all is well.
Next morning, she's in the computer room (open room) and Keanu is on the computer.
She says she wants it.
I tell her "He was there first".
She starts to argue with me.
I hold up my hand....tell her to stop.
She starts to talk back.
I take her into the classroom, sit her down with a piece of paper and her start writing. "I will not talk back to mom". "I will not argue with mom".
She's hating it. She and Kekeli said they'd both RATHER be beat than have to be grounded or write sentences :)
Of course, I never have beat them....
but I do send kids to their room or make them write sentences if they are out of line.
I spoke to Precious after about what happened, why she had to write the sentences.
She was mad. So was I.
:)
Ah......so much more drama that I will skip over that happened afterward. Let's just say that it was not a fun morning or evening at all.....
AT ALLLLLLL.
But, it was a learning moment. She learned that she needs to give birthday invitations to be as soon as she gets them.
That was not a fun experience for her or for me.
Learning isn't always easy.
The next birthday invitation she gets she will hopefully remember to bring it home right away.
The afternoon came crashing down on us all because of a birthday party.
I want you to know that there are days Precious is a bouncy, happy little girl....like Tigger on Winnie the Pooh. She's perky, energetic and happy.
Then there are days that she is not.
It's just life.
I'm just sharing.
I know I am blessed. I learn from my stress days. So, it's all good.
I go to Texas for a week, this coming.
My sis in law is coming to tend. She has 3 young children of her own. She's
amazing. I hope my kids will be really, really good for her.
As Planet Hansen Turns- One Day at at Time
This is not a blog for anyone who has a problem with me sharing my heart. :)
This is where I vent. I don't have the energy to "pretend" or "hide" my feelings. I feel a need to blog about this.
Also, when I write it's almost always "tongue in cheek"...I have a smile on.
I have a sense of humor. I'm not gloom and doom. My sense of humor keeps me sane...so my blog, for the most part, is written with my dry humor.
I have taken an email (below, my dialog with Precious) to a friend and copied it into this blog. I can't write it again. :)
In times like these, we have to remember those first strong feelings we had when the spirit first spoke to our hearts and told us to adopt from Ghana( and in my case the spirit struck me like a meteor...so there would be NO doubt whatsoever, that this was the right thing....) This is what keeps me going...that initial feeling I had when I "knew"....blind faith, hope, knowing God has a plan and even though I don't have a clue what it is, there's a reason why we have two new daughters.
I say new because 1 yr and 4 1/2 months is not that long. They arrived home on the last day of June 2008. So, for those of you who just brought kids home and have frustrations, you aren't alone. It's actually normal for these situations to come up. Different situations for different families.
For those of you who ARE adopting older children, this gives you some insight into the possible issues you MAY deal with ( or maybe you won't...) Every one's issues with blending new children into the family are different. I don't have a problem sharing my experiences. This is my blog. I like to share...and I like to vent. If anyone is uncomfortable with this, you may want to stop reading here :)
The dialog ( has been edited so I don't COMPLETELY shock some of you).
This morning Precious knocked on my bedroom door.
I opened it, she said "You said you would do my hair."
I told her the night before I would AFTER she washes it.
I asked her "Did you wash it?"
She said "no"
"Precious, go into the bathroom and wash your hair."
"Mom, I don't know how to take a shower...." Whiny pouty voice...
(me) Wide eyed...."What!? Precious, how long have you lived here? You have been here a long time. Have you taken a shower since you moved here?" ( she knew how to take a shower after her first one in Ghana at the hotel...I KNOW She knows how...)
"Yes"
"Then Go and take a shower, wash your hair, put a towel on it, then call me and I will help you do your hair."
"But, I don't know how to take a shower and wash my hair". (I know
that all she wants is attention at this point...or at least I'm hoping so I am digging deep...Lamaze breathing....I'm starting to feel light headed. )
"PRECIOUS! Have you washed your hair since you moved here?!"
"Yes"
"Then go into the bathroom ( I take her)" I'm still calm....
"Here is the shampoo, here is the conditioner ( I am speaking calmly and deliberately and firmly)....put the shampoo in your hands ( show her, like it's the first time she's ever used it.) and use this first....then the conditioner last....then let the water wash it out." I Enunciate.... This. is. shampoo.
She looks at me like it's a first.
I'm flabbergasted.
"But, I don't know how. What is shampoo?" (seriously??? My chest is hurting and the room is starting to spin....)
She knows what shampoo is.
She knows how to take a shower and bath.....she's known since BEFORE SHE CAME here!
So, I say....it's the bottle that says "Shampoo" on it~! LOOK! ( and I show her)
"But, what do I do???"
Me....hyperventilating.....take a deep breath, leave the room...
shout.
"JUST TAKE A SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!"
Scene Two...after the shower:
She came out of the shower. Her hair in a towel. I took the towel off. I'm fluffing it.
She said "Is my hair dry?"
No.
I said "Feel it....does it feel dry?" (I'm speaking nicely)
Precious says "I dried it with my towel. Is it dry?"
"Precious, does it feel dry?"
"noooo...."
"Okay, get the hair dryer"
"What?
"The one we always use that has the comb"
"Huh?"
"Precious, have I dried your hair before?"
"Yes"
"That hair dryer".
"oh!!!!" ( she has the light bulb moment)
She opens a drawer, she pulled out a flat iron.
"This?"
"Does that dry hair?"
"no"
Chest tightens, my eyes are wanting to water :), I try to control my breathing....
I find the drier and dry her hair, flat iron it....we finish, no one is hurt :)
The end is that she took a shower and did fine. She had her hair dried and we both survived. I straightened it and she was happy. She got through it and I did too, but not without some serious anxiety.
In hindsight ( don't you love hindsight?) I could have avoided this and handled the scenario in a completely different, more constructive way. But I didn't. Live and learn.
She's doing this with homework too.
"What is a period?"
"It is the dot at the end of the sentence Precious."
"Oh"
As a dear friend put it to me "She's trying to make up for 10 years of no one on one attention..." She is right. I'm trying to figure out how to do it in a way that is constructive and doesn't cause me to screw her up and make me go crazy in the process.
I have tried to find times today where I give her positive attention, so that she doesn't seek the bad kind (she doesn't care, attention, good or bad, is attention).
This afternoon I greeted her after school with a smile and a hug. I asked her how her day had gone, what happened etc....she has done fine this afternoon. I think that is all she needs, usually.
Sometimes she just wants to shake things up, see how far she can push things....but mostly ( and I know this ) she just wants to be loved. She has never been in a family environment with both a mother and a father who BOTH care for her and love her and WANT her. She's a sweet, loving little girl with a strong need for attention.
I just have to find the strength ( I don't pray for the "P" word anymore :)
To find ways to make it positive attention.
Kekeli still hasn't "attached/bonded" to us. She lives with us, but obviously doesn't feel like she is part of the family yet. She came here at age 14. She has a mother living in Ghana and a sister who is older who played a big hand in raising her. She remains close to both. So, I believe maybe she feels like if she gives her heart to us as well she is betraying them? I don't know.... She knows she is loved. She knows we want her her and that Heavenly Father played a hand in her and Precious coming. But I can almost read her mind sometimes....She's very quiet so I have to read her mind. :) She comes out of her shell when she's doing the things she loves, like dancing or drawing. But after school when I ask her how her day went she'll say "fine"....it's the typical teenage one word answer.
"Who did you sit with at lunch?"
"A lot of people".
"What are their names?"
"I don't know."
"Are they all girls?"
"No"
"Are there some boys?"
"Yes."
"Do you know them?"
"No"
"Are they nice?"
"I don't know."
"What did you eat?"
"Taco's"
"Were they good?"
"Yeah, I guess so....", then she turns her back to me and walks into the computer room.
Shannan has had her moments too. She came out of the bathroom last night after her bath and had her hair wrapped in a towel. Her body wrapped in a towel, and her face powdered like a Geisha girl....only blue....like a Smurf."
Sigh......where is my face powder and how did you turn it blue?
In the end, although I am seriously having issues right now dealing with all of this, I know that God has a plan for all of our children we are adopting or have adopted. We play a part in that plan for them. God has put us together.
It's scary though, because I don't know WHAT the plan is....and if I am going to do the right thing...how do I do it?
Goodness knows that some days I like the whole idea of the "beatings" in Ghana.....beatings are just spankings there, but they call them beatings. Sometimes they ARE beatings...But when they say "I will beat you!" They mean "smack" or "spank". It's just the way it is. I haven't beat anyone....but man, I sure have WANTED to!
When the girls first came to me, they hit each other. But they have stopped. They have only had one "brawl" that involved all four of my children....and I grounded everyone for the
ENTIRE weekend...to their rooms. I took food to them. They haven't done it again. :)
Two full days...no TV, in their rooms....they could read or write.
They HATED it. :)
I hope I haven't offended anyone. If I have, I told you to stop reading at the top. :)
This is my blog and I can say what I want! :)
I just feel the need to "share". This helps me vent. This helps you not feel like you are the only one, if you are having issues. If you aren't having issues, I'm jealous :)
If you are adopting older children, just be aware that they come with their fully formed personalities, experiences ( not all good ) and it will take some time for them to feel like this is all real. It will take a while to build trust ( we are still working on that). It won't always be easy....but it will definitely be worth it in the end. I know this because God made this happen. I ask the girls "Does God make mistakes?"
"No!!"
"That's right....so we know that we are supposed to be together."
It'll all be okay. We just have to take it one day at a time....have faith, hope and pray a LOT!
And drink a lot of diet coke.....
This is where I vent. I don't have the energy to "pretend" or "hide" my feelings. I feel a need to blog about this.
Also, when I write it's almost always "tongue in cheek"...I have a smile on.
I have a sense of humor. I'm not gloom and doom. My sense of humor keeps me sane...so my blog, for the most part, is written with my dry humor.
I have taken an email (below, my dialog with Precious) to a friend and copied it into this blog. I can't write it again. :)
In times like these, we have to remember those first strong feelings we had when the spirit first spoke to our hearts and told us to adopt from Ghana( and in my case the spirit struck me like a meteor...so there would be NO doubt whatsoever, that this was the right thing....) This is what keeps me going...that initial feeling I had when I "knew"....blind faith, hope, knowing God has a plan and even though I don't have a clue what it is, there's a reason why we have two new daughters.
I say new because 1 yr and 4 1/2 months is not that long. They arrived home on the last day of June 2008. So, for those of you who just brought kids home and have frustrations, you aren't alone. It's actually normal for these situations to come up. Different situations for different families.
For those of you who ARE adopting older children, this gives you some insight into the possible issues you MAY deal with ( or maybe you won't...) Every one's issues with blending new children into the family are different. I don't have a problem sharing my experiences. This is my blog. I like to share...and I like to vent. If anyone is uncomfortable with this, you may want to stop reading here :)
The dialog ( has been edited so I don't COMPLETELY shock some of you).
This morning Precious knocked on my bedroom door.
I opened it, she said "You said you would do my hair."
I told her the night before I would AFTER she washes it.
I asked her "Did you wash it?"
She said "no"
"Precious, go into the bathroom and wash your hair."
"Mom, I don't know how to take a shower...." Whiny pouty voice...
(me) Wide eyed...."What!? Precious, how long have you lived here? You have been here a long time. Have you taken a shower since you moved here?" ( she knew how to take a shower after her first one in Ghana at the hotel...I KNOW She knows how...)
"Yes"
"Then Go and take a shower, wash your hair, put a towel on it, then call me and I will help you do your hair."
"But, I don't know how to take a shower and wash my hair". (I know
that all she wants is attention at this point...or at least I'm hoping so I am digging deep...Lamaze breathing....I'm starting to feel light headed. )
"PRECIOUS! Have you washed your hair since you moved here?!"
"Yes"
"Then go into the bathroom ( I take her)" I'm still calm....
"Here is the shampoo, here is the conditioner ( I am speaking calmly and deliberately and firmly)....put the shampoo in your hands ( show her, like it's the first time she's ever used it.) and use this first....then the conditioner last....then let the water wash it out." I Enunciate.... This. is. shampoo.
She looks at me like it's a first.
I'm flabbergasted.
"But, I don't know how. What is shampoo?" (seriously??? My chest is hurting and the room is starting to spin....)
She knows what shampoo is.
She knows how to take a shower and bath.....she's known since BEFORE SHE CAME here!
So, I say....it's the bottle that says "Shampoo" on it~! LOOK! ( and I show her)
"But, what do I do???"
Me....hyperventilating.....take a deep breath, leave the room...
shout.
"JUST TAKE A SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!"
Scene Two...after the shower:
She came out of the shower. Her hair in a towel. I took the towel off. I'm fluffing it.
She said "Is my hair dry?"
No.
I said "Feel it....does it feel dry?" (I'm speaking nicely)
Precious says "I dried it with my towel. Is it dry?"
"Precious, does it feel dry?"
"noooo...."
"Okay, get the hair dryer"
"What?
"The one we always use that has the comb"
"Huh?"
"Precious, have I dried your hair before?"
"Yes"
"That hair dryer".
"oh!!!!" ( she has the light bulb moment)
She opens a drawer, she pulled out a flat iron.
"This?"
"Does that dry hair?"
"no"
Chest tightens, my eyes are wanting to water :), I try to control my breathing....
I find the drier and dry her hair, flat iron it....we finish, no one is hurt :)
The end is that she took a shower and did fine. She had her hair dried and we both survived. I straightened it and she was happy. She got through it and I did too, but not without some serious anxiety.
In hindsight ( don't you love hindsight?) I could have avoided this and handled the scenario in a completely different, more constructive way. But I didn't. Live and learn.
She's doing this with homework too.
"What is a period?"
"It is the dot at the end of the sentence Precious."
"Oh"
As a dear friend put it to me "She's trying to make up for 10 years of no one on one attention..." She is right. I'm trying to figure out how to do it in a way that is constructive and doesn't cause me to screw her up and make me go crazy in the process.
I have tried to find times today where I give her positive attention, so that she doesn't seek the bad kind (she doesn't care, attention, good or bad, is attention).
This afternoon I greeted her after school with a smile and a hug. I asked her how her day had gone, what happened etc....she has done fine this afternoon. I think that is all she needs, usually.
Sometimes she just wants to shake things up, see how far she can push things....but mostly ( and I know this ) she just wants to be loved. She has never been in a family environment with both a mother and a father who BOTH care for her and love her and WANT her. She's a sweet, loving little girl with a strong need for attention.
I just have to find the strength ( I don't pray for the "P" word anymore :)
To find ways to make it positive attention.
Kekeli still hasn't "attached/bonded" to us. She lives with us, but obviously doesn't feel like she is part of the family yet. She came here at age 14. She has a mother living in Ghana and a sister who is older who played a big hand in raising her. She remains close to both. So, I believe maybe she feels like if she gives her heart to us as well she is betraying them? I don't know.... She knows she is loved. She knows we want her her and that Heavenly Father played a hand in her and Precious coming. But I can almost read her mind sometimes....She's very quiet so I have to read her mind. :) She comes out of her shell when she's doing the things she loves, like dancing or drawing. But after school when I ask her how her day went she'll say "fine"....it's the typical teenage one word answer.
"Who did you sit with at lunch?"
"A lot of people".
"What are their names?"
"I don't know."
"Are they all girls?"
"No"
"Are there some boys?"
"Yes."
"Do you know them?"
"No"
"Are they nice?"
"I don't know."
"What did you eat?"
"Taco's"
"Were they good?"
"Yeah, I guess so....", then she turns her back to me and walks into the computer room.
Shannan has had her moments too. She came out of the bathroom last night after her bath and had her hair wrapped in a towel. Her body wrapped in a towel, and her face powdered like a Geisha girl....only blue....like a Smurf."
Sigh......where is my face powder and how did you turn it blue?
In the end, although I am seriously having issues right now dealing with all of this, I know that God has a plan for all of our children we are adopting or have adopted. We play a part in that plan for them. God has put us together.
It's scary though, because I don't know WHAT the plan is....and if I am going to do the right thing...how do I do it?
Goodness knows that some days I like the whole idea of the "beatings" in Ghana.....beatings are just spankings there, but they call them beatings. Sometimes they ARE beatings...But when they say "I will beat you!" They mean "smack" or "spank". It's just the way it is. I haven't beat anyone....but man, I sure have WANTED to!
When the girls first came to me, they hit each other. But they have stopped. They have only had one "brawl" that involved all four of my children....and I grounded everyone for the
ENTIRE weekend...to their rooms. I took food to them. They haven't done it again. :)
Two full days...no TV, in their rooms....they could read or write.
They HATED it. :)
I hope I haven't offended anyone. If I have, I told you to stop reading at the top. :)
This is my blog and I can say what I want! :)
I just feel the need to "share". This helps me vent. This helps you not feel like you are the only one, if you are having issues. If you aren't having issues, I'm jealous :)
If you are adopting older children, just be aware that they come with their fully formed personalities, experiences ( not all good ) and it will take some time for them to feel like this is all real. It will take a while to build trust ( we are still working on that). It won't always be easy....but it will definitely be worth it in the end. I know this because God made this happen. I ask the girls "Does God make mistakes?"
"No!!"
"That's right....so we know that we are supposed to be together."
It'll all be okay. We just have to take it one day at a time....have faith, hope and pray a LOT!
And drink a lot of diet coke.....
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen- Talking back
I've noticed since my son Kameron left for his mission that the kids
have been more argumentative. I am not sure why they've decided this is okay. I've had to start being more "firm". The whole situation of talking back to me or arguing with me ( which I nip in the bud quickly) has me perplexed. Do they really think I'm going to LET them be disrespectful? Have I ever let them?
I think that I was out so long they are having to test the waters again. No fun. Precious will say "I want rice for breakfast!"
"Precious, we don't have rice."
"BUT , I want RICE for breakfast. How come we don't have rice?!!
"Use your inside voice. Don't shout. Here are your choices, you can have cereal and toast, fruit, waffles, egg, but no rice." I use my inside voice when I say all of this :)
"(whiny voice ) BUT, But....how come we never have rice?"
"We do have rice Precious, but not every day. Now, I gave you your choices. You can eat those things or nothing. You decide. But we don't have rice today. That is all I am going to say. Don't talk to me about rice again this morning. Don't talk back. When I finish, you say nothing but "Yes mom"."
"But!" she says. I hold up my index finger and raise my eyebrows like "do you really want to go there with me?"....then she gives me this sad, teary eyed, rejected look and hunches her shoulders and lurks out of the room...poor, neglected me...getting no rice.
I sigh.
She eats "frozen food" ( she calls it). Microwavable meal.
Precious, Shannan, Kekeli and Keanu are doing well in school, so that's good. We are all still working together as tutors, teacher and mother to get Kekeli and Precious to move up continually in their vocabulary. I knew when they came, as older children, that it would be hard. I had no idea HOW HARD it would be. I now know how hard it is for them to catch up, especially Kekeli. She loves to learn, so she has that going for her. She's like a dry sponge every morning. She comes home an over soaked sponge every afternoon.
Precious is easily distracted and learns better one on one, but she can't have that all day every day. At group tutoring her teacher said she's more interested in socializing :) and flirting with the boys. I've got my hands full with her. Her BIGGEST concern as an 11 year old girl ( right now) is "How can I marry a rich white man?". Um, you are 11. You aren't even CLOSE to that Precious. So much more on this subject that I could add, but won't. She has a love of life and bounces back easily from hard situations. She vocalizes every thought and feeling, so I always know what's on her mind. This is a good thing. :)
The challenge I feel right now is because of the large gap in learning and the amount of help Kekeli and Precious need, how do I make sure I am spending equal amounts of time with the bio children ( who also need my attention). My husband travels a lot for business, so it's just me. I am feeling a bit stretched and frustrated as to how to make this work. I don't want any child of mine to feel they are being ignored or aren't equal. So getting them to stop arguing with me and with each other and finding that balance of time with each child are my top goals right now.
Pulling Kekeli out of her shell more and more is another dilemma. She's mastered the art of teenage angst, moping and pouting. Every day brings such a large range of emotions for me. I'm proud of and love my children. I feel hope for their future. I feel frustrated when they argue with me or each other. I feel angry when Precious talks back or whines ( she's REALLLLLLLLLY good at that). She could win an Oscar for some of her performances.
I feel frustrated when I spend 2 hours in the evening trying to get Kekeli's homework done with her and the other children are being ignored.
Then when I go to bed and reflect on my day I realize I am blessed and I just need to be thankful. Then I wake up and do it all over again. :) I think what I am going through is called "life". :) It's all going to work out in the end....hopefully. I'm an optimist. I guess that helps.
have been more argumentative. I am not sure why they've decided this is okay. I've had to start being more "firm". The whole situation of talking back to me or arguing with me ( which I nip in the bud quickly) has me perplexed. Do they really think I'm going to LET them be disrespectful? Have I ever let them?
I think that I was out so long they are having to test the waters again. No fun. Precious will say "I want rice for breakfast!"
"Precious, we don't have rice."
"BUT , I want RICE for breakfast. How come we don't have rice?!!
"Use your inside voice. Don't shout. Here are your choices, you can have cereal and toast, fruit, waffles, egg, but no rice." I use my inside voice when I say all of this :)
"(whiny voice ) BUT, But....how come we never have rice?"
"We do have rice Precious, but not every day. Now, I gave you your choices. You can eat those things or nothing. You decide. But we don't have rice today. That is all I am going to say. Don't talk to me about rice again this morning. Don't talk back. When I finish, you say nothing but "Yes mom"."
"But!" she says. I hold up my index finger and raise my eyebrows like "do you really want to go there with me?"....then she gives me this sad, teary eyed, rejected look and hunches her shoulders and lurks out of the room...poor, neglected me...getting no rice.
I sigh.
She eats "frozen food" ( she calls it). Microwavable meal.
Precious, Shannan, Kekeli and Keanu are doing well in school, so that's good. We are all still working together as tutors, teacher and mother to get Kekeli and Precious to move up continually in their vocabulary. I knew when they came, as older children, that it would be hard. I had no idea HOW HARD it would be. I now know how hard it is for them to catch up, especially Kekeli. She loves to learn, so she has that going for her. She's like a dry sponge every morning. She comes home an over soaked sponge every afternoon.
Precious is easily distracted and learns better one on one, but she can't have that all day every day. At group tutoring her teacher said she's more interested in socializing :) and flirting with the boys. I've got my hands full with her. Her BIGGEST concern as an 11 year old girl ( right now) is "How can I marry a rich white man?". Um, you are 11. You aren't even CLOSE to that Precious. So much more on this subject that I could add, but won't. She has a love of life and bounces back easily from hard situations. She vocalizes every thought and feeling, so I always know what's on her mind. This is a good thing. :)
The challenge I feel right now is because of the large gap in learning and the amount of help Kekeli and Precious need, how do I make sure I am spending equal amounts of time with the bio children ( who also need my attention). My husband travels a lot for business, so it's just me. I am feeling a bit stretched and frustrated as to how to make this work. I don't want any child of mine to feel they are being ignored or aren't equal. So getting them to stop arguing with me and with each other and finding that balance of time with each child are my top goals right now.
Pulling Kekeli out of her shell more and more is another dilemma. She's mastered the art of teenage angst, moping and pouting. Every day brings such a large range of emotions for me. I'm proud of and love my children. I feel hope for their future. I feel frustrated when they argue with me or each other. I feel angry when Precious talks back or whines ( she's REALLLLLLLLLY good at that). She could win an Oscar for some of her performances.
I feel frustrated when I spend 2 hours in the evening trying to get Kekeli's homework done with her and the other children are being ignored.
Then when I go to bed and reflect on my day I realize I am blessed and I just need to be thankful. Then I wake up and do it all over again. :) I think what I am going through is called "life". :) It's all going to work out in the end....hopefully. I'm an optimist. I guess that helps.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
I've been out a while, so has my back. But now my back and I are both back..pretty much. This past month has been a bit of everything.The bio children handled me being down quiet well...My Ghanagirls didn't. I think they were worried that if something happened, they'd have to go back. I have told them they are here to stay, but the STILL aren't totally sure if I am telling the truth. But, as they say in Ghana, I am NOT a LIAR. :) So, time will help. It hasn't been that long.
So, ( not in any specific order ):
The Bad
1. My back went out, and I went down. I was in bed for almost 2 weeks...only getting out to do "necessary" things :)
2. My husband was gone during this, so my son Kameron had to take over mother, father AND brother duties.
3. I learned to never write emails, clean out bill piles or talk on the phone while under the influence of percocet and valium. Big mistake. I can't find my "pile"...and I can't remember what I said to any of the people who called during that time.
The Ugly
1. ME....I looked awful.
2. The House....until.....
The Good.
1. My sister in law came over with her husband ( Mary jo and Frank) and cleaned
my house, even my oven and fridge/freezer. I would have kissed them if I could have. :) Frank ( they are both graduates of Le Cordeon Bleu (Sp?) cooked two nights worth of dinners for us. What a great gift...all of it. They were so nice to come and take care of me.
1 1/2. The beautiful flowers my dad sent and that my friend Michelle sent cheered me
while I was stuck ( literally) in bed. Thank you both for your thoughtfulness.
2. My sister Camille arranged for two of her chef friends to cook our early thanksgiving, because I wasn't up to it yet. They did it for FREE ( except for the cost of the food). We had early thanksgiving because Ron wont be here for Thanksgiving and I will be in Texas.
2 1/2. Jennifer (Dahl) coming over and visiting...brought me a picture of the Luckyhill Kids. She's awesome.
3. Kameron became mom, dad and brother for 3 weeks and did everything. He did the taxi mom for piano, dance and tutoring. He took the kids to movies and out to do things. He spent a lot of one on one time with Keanu exercising and hanging out. He was truly amazing and I couldn't have done it without him. HE did Halloween for the kids...carved the pumpkins, got them dressed up, passed out Candy. I was still up in bed. He even worked at Shannan's class Halloween party!
4. Nikki and Sara and Trent came to visit! That was awesome. Nikki is 2 years from her Masters degree...GO NIKKI!
4 1/2. My friend Heidi Alsup coming and sitting by my bed and helping me eat a ton of Halloween chocolates. :) I hope I didn't say anything crazy....sorry if I did Heidi, and thanks for visiting me!
5. We went to the Temple with Kameron in Ogden. I had to sit in a wheel chair. Embarrassing, but I survived :) Kameron went into the MTC this past week. He is now Elder Kameron Hansen.
He will be an awesome missionary.
6. I got to go see the kids I met at Luckyhill at a party on Saturday. All of their families came and I took my girls up ( it was all girls :) to see them. William and Sara were baptized that day. I missed that, but I am so proud of them and it was wonderful to put faces with the names I see on blogs.
7. Shannan turned 8~! She got baptized on Nov.7th.
8. My sis in law Tami drove down from Salt Lake to take me to the ER when my back went out. She was so sweet....I had help from her, Mary Jo, Frank and my son Kameron and my sister Nikki.
9. My mom surprised me and came from Texas for the baptism/goodbye Kam/early Thanksgiving party...that was fun!
Our entire family was blessed with the help from family this past month. I appreciated the phone calls....even though I was slurring and probably said some weird stuff.
I'm on my way "Back" to getting back my back. :)
I go to Texas Sunday for Stephens graduation in Texas.
He'll be an Air Force fireman. Sweet. I am very proud of him.
There was more good than bad, and it didn't matter if I was ugly during the whole thing. Actually, haven't fixed the ugly part yet. :) That's next.
So, short story long.....the good prevailed. The bad was just a small thing compared to all the good that came out of it. I am blessed.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Remembering a couple of more firsts
When you first bring your kids home from Ghana to their new home in America there is so much pop culture that they won't understand. I remember when Michael Jackson died. We were all discussing it, and Kekeli finally said "Who is Michael Jackson?"
I mentioned the singer, some songs....she had no idea. Apparently he wasn't popular in her village in Ghana , or maybe just not in her group of friends...and other reasons why she wouldn't know who he is ( you would have to own a radio and his music, etc...).
Another favorite was when we were sitting out on the front porch one evening.
Kekeli and Precious were on either side of me. We were just enjoying the quiet.
Kekekli finally asked "Mom... where are all of the goats and chickens?" :)
Because in Ghana they roam freely all over the streets, everywhere. So we talked about how people put them in cages here, and then had to explain why. It was funny.
The first couple of weeks the girls were worried about armed robbers coming to take things from our house. That happens in Ghana. Here they are with all of their nice new things and they just knew an armed robber would come and take it all. It has been something they had experienced in their families more than once. SO we had a chat about how the doors are locked, our neighborhood is safe, we don't let strangers in.
So many fun memories of firsts......
I mentioned the singer, some songs....she had no idea. Apparently he wasn't popular in her village in Ghana , or maybe just not in her group of friends...and other reasons why she wouldn't know who he is ( you would have to own a radio and his music, etc...).
Another favorite was when we were sitting out on the front porch one evening.
Kekeli and Precious were on either side of me. We were just enjoying the quiet.
Kekekli finally asked "Mom... where are all of the goats and chickens?" :)
Because in Ghana they roam freely all over the streets, everywhere. So we talked about how people put them in cages here, and then had to explain why. It was funny.
The first couple of weeks the girls were worried about armed robbers coming to take things from our house. That happens in Ghana. Here they are with all of their nice new things and they just knew an armed robber would come and take it all. It has been something they had experienced in their families more than once. SO we had a chat about how the doors are locked, our neighborhood is safe, we don't let strangers in.
So many fun memories of firsts......
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Coming to America from Ghana as an older child
Here are a few things that my daughters first experienced when they first came to America. These may be things you experience with your newly adopted children.
Every time the girls would see some other person who was black they would always say "HE/SHE IS FROM AFRICA". So, it took a few times of explaining that no, they were actually not. Once really nice guy at the Air Force Base was so nice. Precious asked him..."Are you from Africa?!" He said "No, I'm not. I'm from Louisiana." Precious asked "Huh? Where is that?" It was her first week here.
Every black person they saw they thought were from Africa at first. Now they know more about how it's not polite to yell that out, and more about the history of the African Americans who are here in America.
Many people who first met the girls would say "OH! You have such pretty hair! Is it real?" Not meant rudely, but white people don't realize that is a rude question to ask a black woman....rude. Don't ask that. So, now they just say "This is my real hair".
The first time we went through a drive through at a fast food joint and the lady asked for our order the girls just about FREAKED OUT! They heard me talk back. They asked where she was? Who was in the box that was talking. When we got the food and drove away they were just amazed....
:)
The first movie was so interesting. They went in and sat down, had no idea what was happening even though I'd tried to prepare them. When the movie started they about jumped out of their chairs. They were so excited and the popcorn.....that is still their favorite part.
Their first taste of root beer. Classic. They hated it. Funny faces and yucky sounds.
I just wanted to see if they'd like it but figured they wouldn't.
It took them about a month before they'd sleep in their bed. They wanted to sleep on the floor, in the same room ( not alone in their rooms).
It took about 3 months to get Precious to start using a fork instead of her hands ( to eat). In Ghana it's common to eat with your hands. But, in America you have to use your fork. She's got it down. She can even use chopsticks now!
Kekeli waited up all night the first year she was about to see her first snow....at 5am she came running into my room. "It's SNOWING!...can we go outside and play?" Funny :)
Learning about debit cards, credit cards, the little card machines you run them through...just totally boggled their mind. They'd see me use that to pay and wonder if I was getting it for free since they never saw money.
THeir first amusement park trip was so fun. We started with the carousel. By the end of the day they were riding the scaries rides in the park ( with my sis in law Tami...cuz I hate scary rides :) and LOVED it!
Kekeli learning last year that the earth is round...even after seeing globes and maps she still thought the earth was flat. I got her on the internet ( another amazing fun discovery for them both) and we got on Google Earth. I showed her and Precious the amazing photo's from space of Ghana from a satellite, in real time. Then she asked me
"where is America?" I told her "On the other side"....and so I went to shots of the earth from the moon...the beautiful big blue marble that is our earth....
and then she yelled..."THE EARTH IS ROUND?!!!"
I thought she was kidding. She wasn't kidding. Then she burst into a million questions..."How do we not fall off?" "Are we on top or on bottom or on side?"
She still asks questions and is fascinated about space, gravity, the fact the earth spins.....It's fun watching them discover.
There are so many fun moments of discovery that we are still going through. It takes time. You don't want to introduce to much to quickly. It's nice for them to learn, let it soak in.
When we planned our trip to Disneyland and California it took quiet a bit of explaining.
It was an adventure. Precious though still believes that every kid in america has been to Disneyland and doesnt understand that it's a special treat and some kids never get to go. So, still lots to learn and experience.
Everyone will have different experiences with their new children, but they'll all be fun and exciting.....sometimes a bit baffling, but always good. We are still enjoying the girls experiencing new things. Shannan and Keanu are so great about teaching them about stuff and showing them things. At first Keanu wasn't taking it so well ( Precious drove him bonkers). They have gotten better and now he and she can actually spend time together and have fun. It's getting easier for him.
I could go on and on. Just wanted to share those few things. It's an adventure for sure and worth every moment.
Every time the girls would see some other person who was black they would always say "HE/SHE IS FROM AFRICA". So, it took a few times of explaining that no, they were actually not. Once really nice guy at the Air Force Base was so nice. Precious asked him..."Are you from Africa?!" He said "No, I'm not. I'm from Louisiana." Precious asked "Huh? Where is that?" It was her first week here.
Every black person they saw they thought were from Africa at first. Now they know more about how it's not polite to yell that out, and more about the history of the African Americans who are here in America.
Many people who first met the girls would say "OH! You have such pretty hair! Is it real?" Not meant rudely, but white people don't realize that is a rude question to ask a black woman....rude. Don't ask that. So, now they just say "This is my real hair".
The first time we went through a drive through at a fast food joint and the lady asked for our order the girls just about FREAKED OUT! They heard me talk back. They asked where she was? Who was in the box that was talking. When we got the food and drove away they were just amazed....
:)
The first movie was so interesting. They went in and sat down, had no idea what was happening even though I'd tried to prepare them. When the movie started they about jumped out of their chairs. They were so excited and the popcorn.....that is still their favorite part.
Their first taste of root beer. Classic. They hated it. Funny faces and yucky sounds.
I just wanted to see if they'd like it but figured they wouldn't.
It took them about a month before they'd sleep in their bed. They wanted to sleep on the floor, in the same room ( not alone in their rooms).
It took about 3 months to get Precious to start using a fork instead of her hands ( to eat). In Ghana it's common to eat with your hands. But, in America you have to use your fork. She's got it down. She can even use chopsticks now!
Kekeli waited up all night the first year she was about to see her first snow....at 5am she came running into my room. "It's SNOWING!...can we go outside and play?" Funny :)
Learning about debit cards, credit cards, the little card machines you run them through...just totally boggled their mind. They'd see me use that to pay and wonder if I was getting it for free since they never saw money.
THeir first amusement park trip was so fun. We started with the carousel. By the end of the day they were riding the scaries rides in the park ( with my sis in law Tami...cuz I hate scary rides :) and LOVED it!
Kekeli learning last year that the earth is round...even after seeing globes and maps she still thought the earth was flat. I got her on the internet ( another amazing fun discovery for them both) and we got on Google Earth. I showed her and Precious the amazing photo's from space of Ghana from a satellite, in real time. Then she asked me
"where is America?" I told her "On the other side"....and so I went to shots of the earth from the moon...the beautiful big blue marble that is our earth....
and then she yelled..."THE EARTH IS ROUND?!!!"
I thought she was kidding. She wasn't kidding. Then she burst into a million questions..."How do we not fall off?" "Are we on top or on bottom or on side?"
She still asks questions and is fascinated about space, gravity, the fact the earth spins.....It's fun watching them discover.
There are so many fun moments of discovery that we are still going through. It takes time. You don't want to introduce to much to quickly. It's nice for them to learn, let it soak in.
When we planned our trip to Disneyland and California it took quiet a bit of explaining.
It was an adventure. Precious though still believes that every kid in america has been to Disneyland and doesnt understand that it's a special treat and some kids never get to go. So, still lots to learn and experience.
Everyone will have different experiences with their new children, but they'll all be fun and exciting.....sometimes a bit baffling, but always good. We are still enjoying the girls experiencing new things. Shannan and Keanu are so great about teaching them about stuff and showing them things. At first Keanu wasn't taking it so well ( Precious drove him bonkers). They have gotten better and now he and she can actually spend time together and have fun. It's getting easier for him.
I could go on and on. Just wanted to share those few things. It's an adventure for sure and worth every moment.
Life on Planet Hansen - Healing hearts and souls
I have had angels visit my home today. My sister in law Mary Jo, her husband Frank have come to clean and help me. They are examples of the phrase "Actions speak louder than words". Their actions speak love and care and I appreciate them coming and doing the things for me today that I can't do myself. Kameron is just plumb worn out. He's been mom, dad, brother, everything.....and he survived ( and even enjoyed ) volunteering in Shannan's class today with their halloweeen party. My wonderful friends from Primary who I work with came to my aid with lunch. Brittany and Carrie, thank you. You are angels. Truly. I am tearing up just writing about how I appreciate you doing that for me. They even helped me put together the massive goody bags that were meant for Shannan's class party ( I couldn't go to....because of my problem). Shannan made her own, and I have no idea what she put in them. :) It wasn't what I bought. So Brittany and Carrie helped me put these together so that the kids can pass them out to neighbor friends later. Caring friends and family heal the heart and the soul. I needed that healing today and my angels came to my aid.
Thank you. I also want to thank those of you who have sent messages. Laying in bed day after day after day, being in pain, unable to do the things that need to be done....well, it just plain sucks. Hearing what your are up to, your stories, etc....makes my heart happy. I may be in bed, but as I listen to the sounds of Mary and Frank downstairs cleaning and chatting and talking with Kameron. I hear little Nicholas jibbering or crying.....and I don't feel alone. I feel happy. Thank you Veloy for calling me this morning and letting me pour my heart out to you. I'm still blubbery, but I am going to blame it on all the meds. :) So, to ALL of you who read this, THANK YOU for lending me your eyes....that in and of itself makes me feel better. To know you are there and care. I am blessed. I won't have to post the awful pictures of the horrible, scary mess after all ( Kekeli and Precious were afraid....:) Now all is well. I think sometimes people forget that the most important angels are the ones on this earth who minister to us......and I have had 5 of them visit me today. Thanks guys.....
Thank you. I also want to thank those of you who have sent messages. Laying in bed day after day after day, being in pain, unable to do the things that need to be done....well, it just plain sucks. Hearing what your are up to, your stories, etc....makes my heart happy. I may be in bed, but as I listen to the sounds of Mary and Frank downstairs cleaning and chatting and talking with Kameron. I hear little Nicholas jibbering or crying.....and I don't feel alone. I feel happy. Thank you Veloy for calling me this morning and letting me pour my heart out to you. I'm still blubbery, but I am going to blame it on all the meds. :) So, to ALL of you who read this, THANK YOU for lending me your eyes....that in and of itself makes me feel better. To know you are there and care. I am blessed. I won't have to post the awful pictures of the horrible, scary mess after all ( Kekeli and Precious were afraid....:) Now all is well. I think sometimes people forget that the most important angels are the ones on this earth who minister to us......and I have had 5 of them visit me today. Thanks guys.....
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Planet Hansen- Spoke to soon
I had lunch at 11 am. At about pm I was ready for something to eat. I made my venture downstairs. Thought I'd heat up a weight watchers. I got downstairs and was hyperventilating. Not because of the pain, but because of the mess I saw before me.
Kekeli and Precious had been asked before Kam left to do their chores. They not only did NOT do their chores, they made it worse. Kameron specifically showed the girls a diet meal he had bought for himself for dinner tonight. When he came home, Kekeli had eaten it. I got my camera, and started taking pictures. I told Kekeli and Precious if they didn't do their chores I was going to post all of the messes in the kitchen, computer room and their rooms for the whole family to see how they are helping take care of me. Since I have been laid up Kekeli has taken this as a vacation....not as a time to help. I'm unable to do so many things right now...any twisting, bending, standing for long, sitting for long....make a wrong move and I'm back in bed another 10 days. NO THANKS! So, Precious starts cleaning. Kekeli just stands there....but she does apologize for eating Kam's special meal. He had gotten something just for them so they wouldn't eat HIS thing. Then, I am in bed....on my many drugs for pain ( as in NOW) and Kekeli comes into my room....up to my bed....and hands me a paper. I asked what it was. She said "It's for food nutrition class"
When is it due?
Tomorrow morning...first period.
I am like having heart palipitations. We had a chat about not procrastinating ( not our first) and then Kameron went out to get the ingredients ( at 10:15 pm) so he can help her cook her project for tomorrow.
THEN, she comes into the room again....I'm already beyond upset.
She has another homework assignement....due tomorrorw. second period.
Man oh man oh man.
Did I tell you I dropped my dinner on my foot and on my floor? I ended up eating a bite size milkyway for dinner, and a glass of milk.......with my valium, steroids and percocet.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
All of you who know me know that I don't stay mad long and usually can have a sense of humor about these things. Today's been tough though.
Kameron's been my sanity.
Tomorrow you will be seeing pictures of horror ( messy house) if the kids don't get it clean. I will also ground them.
It will not be pretty.
Stay tuned......and for those who only want the "pretty side" to life on my blog....Never gonna get just that....I'm real. I have good days and I have bad days and I share both.
Kekeli and Precious had been asked before Kam left to do their chores. They not only did NOT do their chores, they made it worse. Kameron specifically showed the girls a diet meal he had bought for himself for dinner tonight. When he came home, Kekeli had eaten it. I got my camera, and started taking pictures. I told Kekeli and Precious if they didn't do their chores I was going to post all of the messes in the kitchen, computer room and their rooms for the whole family to see how they are helping take care of me. Since I have been laid up Kekeli has taken this as a vacation....not as a time to help. I'm unable to do so many things right now...any twisting, bending, standing for long, sitting for long....make a wrong move and I'm back in bed another 10 days. NO THANKS! So, Precious starts cleaning. Kekeli just stands there....but she does apologize for eating Kam's special meal. He had gotten something just for them so they wouldn't eat HIS thing. Then, I am in bed....on my many drugs for pain ( as in NOW) and Kekeli comes into my room....up to my bed....and hands me a paper. I asked what it was. She said "It's for food nutrition class"
When is it due?
Tomorrow morning...first period.
I am like having heart palipitations. We had a chat about not procrastinating ( not our first) and then Kameron went out to get the ingredients ( at 10:15 pm) so he can help her cook her project for tomorrow.
THEN, she comes into the room again....I'm already beyond upset.
She has another homework assignement....due tomorrorw. second period.
Man oh man oh man.
Did I tell you I dropped my dinner on my foot and on my floor? I ended up eating a bite size milkyway for dinner, and a glass of milk.......with my valium, steroids and percocet.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
All of you who know me know that I don't stay mad long and usually can have a sense of humor about these things. Today's been tough though.
Kameron's been my sanity.
Tomorrow you will be seeing pictures of horror ( messy house) if the kids don't get it clean. I will also ground them.
It will not be pretty.
Stay tuned......and for those who only want the "pretty side" to life on my blog....Never gonna get just that....I'm real. I have good days and I have bad days and I share both.
Blessings on Planet Hansen - God is Good
I want to share some experiences and feelings I am having while I am still "sober". :) My pills will kick in then I will sound like a loon :) I want to say THANK YOU, again, to all of you who have gone beyond the call of duty while I have been down. Broken tail bone, muscle spasm, sacrum distention.......no fun. I stay up, with my optimistic, self deprecating sense of humor, but it is easy to get a little bit "down" after 10 days of laying in bed. SO....the past few days I have had some uplifting experiences from friends and church memeber friends. Emails, comments to blogs, phone calls, flowers, prayers from my luckyhill/hohoe/family/friends....and my sister Camille just really making sure I'm good. My sister in law Tami being my on call nurse. My primary presidency friends being sweet to me about me not being able to come to the priamry program and do my sharing time. They are bringing me lunch tomorrow and staying to eat with me....they aren't just dropping it off and leaving. I appreciate the company. My good church friend, an amazing man named Bro. Dennis Carmen. He's the epitomy of service. He brings my family fresh eggs from his small farm, he brings me potatos that he buys from the church farm he hauls potatos from. Today he called me, was parked in front of the house , and said "I think you need a pick me up, so I brought you a pecan pie...It's on your doorstep." I didn't cry til I hung up the phone....it's not the pecan pie that makes me cry, it's the thoughtfulness of all these people who are thinking about me. THANK YOU. All it takes is a phone call, an email....and heck, I don't turn down a pecan pie ever! Thank you EVERYONE...my Luckyhill friends. My Hohoe friends. My Family. My church brothers and sisters. I am very blessed. Okay, now the drugs are kicking in so I better show up. One more thing. These acts of service also have a huge impact on my children and Kekeli and Precious are learning that this is a normal part of our community. Thanks for helping me with teaching them. That whole "It takes a village" thing is true....We are so blessed and I know that God has special angels on this earth who are watching over us. Hope I don't sound crazy. :)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
More life on Planet Hansen - A side note to my other blog
I know that when people read emails or blogs that it's hard to tell the tone of what is being said. I am a goof ball and I hate to hurt people's feelings. My motto is "Be Nice".
That doesn't mean I always am....but, I try. :) That being said, my blogs are just MY opinions and I just talk about what I am going through, what my kids are going through, my concerns and how I deal with it. I in no way think I am an expert in ANYTHING....I'm always learning and I like advice ( as long as it's meant in a nice way....I don't like insults). I also want to say, as parents of Ghanaian young women. It's important we don't forget to find ways to keep their Ghanaian culture a part of their lives. I am still working and learning how to do that. In short. I love my girls and I want them to love their Ghanaian culture and their new American culture. All eight of my children all work hard to make sure that we work together as we find our new balance. I have great kids. I think I mentioned that before, but they are all amazing in different ways. I'm a lucky momma. Please take everything I write with a grain of salt and in the humor it's meant to be in. I never write things to hurt or judge others. I certainly know I am not an expert in anything. I just like to write my blog to get my feelings out there , mostly just for me. If it helps others, great. If not, at least it helps me.
That doesn't mean I always am....but, I try. :) That being said, my blogs are just MY opinions and I just talk about what I am going through, what my kids are going through, my concerns and how I deal with it. I in no way think I am an expert in ANYTHING....I'm always learning and I like advice ( as long as it's meant in a nice way....I don't like insults). I also want to say, as parents of Ghanaian young women. It's important we don't forget to find ways to keep their Ghanaian culture a part of their lives. I am still working and learning how to do that. In short. I love my girls and I want them to love their Ghanaian culture and their new American culture. All eight of my children all work hard to make sure that we work together as we find our new balance. I have great kids. I think I mentioned that before, but they are all amazing in different ways. I'm a lucky momma. Please take everything I write with a grain of salt and in the humor it's meant to be in. I never write things to hurt or judge others. I certainly know I am not an expert in anything. I just like to write my blog to get my feelings out there , mostly just for me. If it helps others, great. If not, at least it helps me.
Life on Planet Hansen - Cultural differences when dealing with illness
When you adopt an older child from another country you are going to have new experiences and adjustments. Most of these will be things you didn't even think about having to deal with. I have had some interesting experiences while being laid up in bed. Every kid reacts differently to a mom being sick and in bed. Kekeli won't come around me. Is she worried that something will happen to me and she'll be sent back to Ghana? That would NEVER happen. But maybe in her mind she thinks that is a possiblity. Kameron and I try and reassure her I'm fine and that I just have to rest to get better.
We have been very clear that she is our daughter is and will always be a Hansen and in our family, no matter what. We have done the same with Precious. As for Kekeli, she could be hearing us but not completely trusting what we are saying. I understand that. I know trust takes time. She is still learning to trust us....some children learn to trust quicker than others. Precious has had an easier time with feeling like she's here to stay and can trust us. She tests us to the limit, which is frustrating for mom :), but is healthy. It shows that she feels secure. Kekeli is beginning to do that, so that is a good sign as well.
She and Precious have only been here just barely over a year, so that is not long. This is just part of the journey, and the growing process of our new family dynamics. This isn't just affecting Precious and Kekeli, but all of our other children. There is a lot of patience in finding the new balance of our new family.
Precious on the other hand , when it comes to frustrations or my current health issue, she just deals with it as it comes. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a very frustrating way. She's more vocal and more huggy and physical (likes hugs and stuff).
She is taking complete advantage of the situation that I am in. It's kind of funny :)...in a funny AND not funny way. She invites the kids to the house from school and brings them up to my room ... like I am a show and tell. :) I'm laying in bed surrounded by candy wrappers, it's just disgusting. Sometimes I have salsa on my shirt, my hair hasn't been washed for 3 days and I smell. Hey, I'm in pain. I am not looking good. Please don't bring your school friends up to my room and show me to them ( maybe she is charging admission!)
I was just talking to my sister and said my new name should be "Sideshow Shelley!". I actually think that is what I have become.
I have to say I have a wonderful, wonderful sister and sister in law and good friends ( you know who you are.....:) who are calling and checking on me and I LOVE YOU. Thanks for caring. Flowers from my dad and my friend Michelle...you ALL keep up my spirits. Tami, thanks for taking me to the Dr, calling me, emailing me, and everything. My favorite little sister Camille calls and makes sure I am doing well every day. Lois calls me every day and we have some good laughs. Every time I talk to her I want to move up to where she lives! :) Nikki calls me and tells me all the cool stuff she's doing up in Minnesota and keeps me smiling. Today she called me while I was a bit loopy from my meds....sorry Nik.
My son Kameron has taken over all parenting responsibilities and also helps me get my socks and shoes on :) He drives me to my appts. It's a good example to the younger children too I think. Keanu now tries to help me with things, and Shannan and Precious are starting to follow suit. It's because of the example of Kameron the big brother.
Anyway, I have a sense of humor. That isn't broken yet. :) For all of you adopting older children...every situation is different because every child is different. You guys already know that. All of our bio kids are different as well....adopted, bio...no difference. We love them all and want them to be happy and secure.
The children that come into our families through the spiritually adoption led route, they are coming over to this completely opposite environment. They are taken from all they know from their home culture in Ghana ( which is rich in culture and is a wonderful happy culture) and being thrown into this American culture of completely different everything, from language, entertainment, you name it. It's all different and overwhelming for them. Talk about sensory overload, it's massive. Poor Precious is still just completely overwhelmed every time we get in the car :)
We are still introducing new things to the girls. It takes time. It is wonderful and a blessing, but it will also be challenging and difficult at times. If you are a Ghanaian, reading this blog, I would appreciate your insight about how illness is dealt with in families there in Ghana. I'm thinking that with Kekeli, being older, maybe this is just how she would have dealt with it in her Ghanaian family. Anyway, we are learning. We will always be learning as our situations change and our family grows. The bottom line is that I love ALL EIGHT of my children with all of my heart and all I want is for them to be happy. I am very blessed....
We have been very clear that she is our daughter is and will always be a Hansen and in our family, no matter what. We have done the same with Precious. As for Kekeli, she could be hearing us but not completely trusting what we are saying. I understand that. I know trust takes time. She is still learning to trust us....some children learn to trust quicker than others. Precious has had an easier time with feeling like she's here to stay and can trust us. She tests us to the limit, which is frustrating for mom :), but is healthy. It shows that she feels secure. Kekeli is beginning to do that, so that is a good sign as well.
She and Precious have only been here just barely over a year, so that is not long. This is just part of the journey, and the growing process of our new family dynamics. This isn't just affecting Precious and Kekeli, but all of our other children. There is a lot of patience in finding the new balance of our new family.
Precious on the other hand , when it comes to frustrations or my current health issue, she just deals with it as it comes. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a very frustrating way. She's more vocal and more huggy and physical (likes hugs and stuff).
She is taking complete advantage of the situation that I am in. It's kind of funny :)...in a funny AND not funny way. She invites the kids to the house from school and brings them up to my room ... like I am a show and tell. :) I'm laying in bed surrounded by candy wrappers, it's just disgusting. Sometimes I have salsa on my shirt, my hair hasn't been washed for 3 days and I smell. Hey, I'm in pain. I am not looking good. Please don't bring your school friends up to my room and show me to them ( maybe she is charging admission!)
I was just talking to my sister and said my new name should be "Sideshow Shelley!". I actually think that is what I have become.
I have to say I have a wonderful, wonderful sister and sister in law and good friends ( you know who you are.....:) who are calling and checking on me and I LOVE YOU. Thanks for caring. Flowers from my dad and my friend Michelle...you ALL keep up my spirits. Tami, thanks for taking me to the Dr, calling me, emailing me, and everything. My favorite little sister Camille calls and makes sure I am doing well every day. Lois calls me every day and we have some good laughs. Every time I talk to her I want to move up to where she lives! :) Nikki calls me and tells me all the cool stuff she's doing up in Minnesota and keeps me smiling. Today she called me while I was a bit loopy from my meds....sorry Nik.
My son Kameron has taken over all parenting responsibilities and also helps me get my socks and shoes on :) He drives me to my appts. It's a good example to the younger children too I think. Keanu now tries to help me with things, and Shannan and Precious are starting to follow suit. It's because of the example of Kameron the big brother.
Anyway, I have a sense of humor. That isn't broken yet. :) For all of you adopting older children...every situation is different because every child is different. You guys already know that. All of our bio kids are different as well....adopted, bio...no difference. We love them all and want them to be happy and secure.
The children that come into our families through the spiritually adoption led route, they are coming over to this completely opposite environment. They are taken from all they know from their home culture in Ghana ( which is rich in culture and is a wonderful happy culture) and being thrown into this American culture of completely different everything, from language, entertainment, you name it. It's all different and overwhelming for them. Talk about sensory overload, it's massive. Poor Precious is still just completely overwhelmed every time we get in the car :)
We are still introducing new things to the girls. It takes time. It is wonderful and a blessing, but it will also be challenging and difficult at times. If you are a Ghanaian, reading this blog, I would appreciate your insight about how illness is dealt with in families there in Ghana. I'm thinking that with Kekeli, being older, maybe this is just how she would have dealt with it in her Ghanaian family. Anyway, we are learning. We will always be learning as our situations change and our family grows. The bottom line is that I love ALL EIGHT of my children with all of my heart and all I want is for them to be happy. I am very blessed....
Snow on Planet Hansen - Let it snow
This morning started out in a flurry of panic because I am having my children immunized or "misted" for H1N1. They have been freaking out. :) BUT, then a WONDERFUL THING happened. It began to snow. All thoughts of mists and vaccines went out the window and now they are outside at 7:15 am twirling around in the snow, making hot chocolate and just happy about looking out the window. Last year Precious would ask "Will the snow hurt me?" "If I am outside in the snow can I still breath?" "Can I eat it?!" It was cute. Shannan's a snow bunny. She'll stay outside all day in it. Precious went skiing last year with her fourth grade class and LOVED IT. Kekeli just likes to let the flakes land on her tongue. Keanu likes to build snow men. I think we'll only get an inch or two, but it was enough to take their minds off their upcoming trip to the conference center for the dreaded vaccine. They're giving out 2000 today. They did 1,000 last week. My sis in law Tami said way up in her area they had a clinic that did 7000 vaccines. I want one, but I am still unable to sit for longer than 5 min, actually less, but I can force myself to sit longer if I have to....and even then I look like a dork cuz I have to lean over, shift and my face usually ends up stuck to the car window.......oh well. It's snowing, so it's all good! :)Kekeli even decided that she will wear a coat. :) She says "These clothings ( coats ) are to big!! I can't move!" But, she doesn't want to be cold. She'll get used to the feeling. They are happy this morning. Life is good. Thank you snow. :)
Snow on Planet Hansen - Let it snow
This morning started out in a flurry of panic because I am having my children immunized or "misted" for H1N1. They have been freaking out. :) BUT, then a WONDERFUL THING happened. It began to snow. All thoughts of mists and vaccines went out the window and now they are outside at 7:15 am twirling around in the snow, making hot chocolate and just happy about looking out the window. Last year Precious would ask "Will the snow hurt me?" "If I am outside in the snow can I still breath?" "Can I eat it?!" It was cute. Shannan's a snow bunny. She'll stay outside all day in it. Precious went skiing last year with her fourth grade class and LOVED IT. Kekeli just likes to let the flakes land on her tongue. Keanu likes to build snow men. I think we'll only get an inch or two, but it was enough to take their minds off their upcoming trip to the conference center for the dreaded vaccine. They're giving out 2000 today. They did 1,000 last week. My sis in law Tami said way up in her area they had a clinic that did 7000 vaccines. I want one, but I am still unable to sit for longer than 5 min, actually less, but I can force myself to sit longer if I have to....and even then I look like a dork cuz I have to lean over, shift and my face usually ends up stuck to the car window.......oh well. It's snowing, so it's all good! :)Kekeli even decided that she will wear a coat. :) She says "These clothings ( coats ) are to big!! I can't move!" But, she doesn't want to be cold. She'll get used to the feeling. They are happy this morning. Life is good. Thank you snow. :)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Life in Bed on Planet Hansen - Day 7
Today is the church sacrament primary program. I am in the primary. I can't go to church and watch the kids sing. I'm also feeling bad I can't teach my sharing time.
Day 7 and still in pain. I asked Kameron to ask our friend from church ( he is our home teacher) to come and give me a blessing this afternoon. For those of you who aren't LDS ( aka mormon) here's some lingo. Sharing time is just a sunday school lesson. All families at church are assigned two men who check monthly on the family and help out if needed. Women also have visiting teachers. Two women who are assigned to just come and help out if needed. They come once a month with a message to share. It's nice. This month I need them. A priesthood blessing is just a prayer. Two members of the LDS who hold the priesthood ( it's like being a deacon in other religions) come and annoint you with oil ( just a drop on the head) and they give you a prayer/blessing. I think I need one. Probably needed it a week ago, but I am stubborn. I am hoping I can get to a Dr for a physical therapy referral this week.
For those of you who have had a pulled lower back muscle or a distended sacrum ( bone ) you totally can understand the paralyzing, blinding, crazy pain it causes. I've been to the chiropractor every morning this week. I'll go every day next week. I see improvment, small improvement. I really damaged that muscle and it's still in spasm mode. Treatment for lower back spasm (which causes LDS ladies to say cuss words ) :) in my opinion should bie FIRST, go to a chiro and get the electrodes hooked up to your back. It feels like electric worms in your back, and sends signals to your brain to relax those muscles to release some of that acid in the muscle. THEN I totally recommend acupuncture. I got two kinds, regular needles and then one that is electric needles. They hurt, but it gives you a few minutes of less pain ( enough to get to the car and get to the ER for drugs). There is also a compression suit that gently manipulates the muscle, so slowly that you don't feel pain....it releases the lactic acids as well. The rest of the treatment unfortunately is REST.....I am not good at that one and I have to admit it's driving me a bit bonkers. Next week, around Wed. I hope, I will hopefully be up to a car ride to the Air Force Base so I can get a referral for physcial therapy.
Poor Kekeli and Precious just must think I'm a lazy bum. I just lay in bed all day.
When I get up and move and then have to shout "OW!!!!!! WHAT the ! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
I think at that point they see I'm seriously in pain.
If you ever have back pain like this, email me. I can empathize.
Kameron has a roast in the slow cooker. I am going to miss him.
I need to go now and ......lay here. :)
This morning Precious said "Mom, get up and do my hair".
I had to explain why, again, I can't do that......she pouted.
I had her ask Kekeli, who isn't being nice to Precious right now.
I just hope Precious doesnt go to church and the presentation in sacrament ( which is our service) with a Don King hairdo. :)
Day 7 and still in pain. I asked Kameron to ask our friend from church ( he is our home teacher) to come and give me a blessing this afternoon. For those of you who aren't LDS ( aka mormon) here's some lingo. Sharing time is just a sunday school lesson. All families at church are assigned two men who check monthly on the family and help out if needed. Women also have visiting teachers. Two women who are assigned to just come and help out if needed. They come once a month with a message to share. It's nice. This month I need them. A priesthood blessing is just a prayer. Two members of the LDS who hold the priesthood ( it's like being a deacon in other religions) come and annoint you with oil ( just a drop on the head) and they give you a prayer/blessing. I think I need one. Probably needed it a week ago, but I am stubborn. I am hoping I can get to a Dr for a physical therapy referral this week.
For those of you who have had a pulled lower back muscle or a distended sacrum ( bone ) you totally can understand the paralyzing, blinding, crazy pain it causes. I've been to the chiropractor every morning this week. I'll go every day next week. I see improvment, small improvement. I really damaged that muscle and it's still in spasm mode. Treatment for lower back spasm (which causes LDS ladies to say cuss words ) :) in my opinion should bie FIRST, go to a chiro and get the electrodes hooked up to your back. It feels like electric worms in your back, and sends signals to your brain to relax those muscles to release some of that acid in the muscle. THEN I totally recommend acupuncture. I got two kinds, regular needles and then one that is electric needles. They hurt, but it gives you a few minutes of less pain ( enough to get to the car and get to the ER for drugs). There is also a compression suit that gently manipulates the muscle, so slowly that you don't feel pain....it releases the lactic acids as well. The rest of the treatment unfortunately is REST.....I am not good at that one and I have to admit it's driving me a bit bonkers. Next week, around Wed. I hope, I will hopefully be up to a car ride to the Air Force Base so I can get a referral for physcial therapy.
Poor Kekeli and Precious just must think I'm a lazy bum. I just lay in bed all day.
When I get up and move and then have to shout "OW!!!!!! WHAT the ! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
I think at that point they see I'm seriously in pain.
If you ever have back pain like this, email me. I can empathize.
Kameron has a roast in the slow cooker. I am going to miss him.
I need to go now and ......lay here. :)
This morning Precious said "Mom, get up and do my hair".
I had to explain why, again, I can't do that......she pouted.
I had her ask Kekeli, who isn't being nice to Precious right now.
I just hope Precious doesnt go to church and the presentation in sacrament ( which is our service) with a Don King hairdo. :)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Planet Hansen - Done
I'd just like to say to my children, once again, do not turn on the garbage disposal until you are sure that all forks, spoons, chopsticks, 1/4 cup measuring cups, BONES, RAGS, etc....are OUT! Kekeli is still learning that garbage disposals don't just magically crush everything. The man is here to fix it. I was (nicely) explaining to her the workings of a garbage disposal and how to be careful, etc....and right in the middle of my sentence she turned on the vacuum cleaner and started vacuuming. My room is a disaster...stuff on the floor. I had her stop. I started over. She was mad. Then, when she started vacuuming she was sucking up whatever was on the carpet. We had talked about that earlier.....since we are on Vacuum number 4.... in a year and 3 months. I nicely said....patiently...."Vacuums can't suck up hair pins, quarters, string, pencils, food....." She does it anyway. She's entering her "I feel safe enough to test the waters now....now that I know they aren't going to beat ( spank ) me or send me away". She is seeing how far can she can push me and how much can she get away with. Kameron asked her to wash the dishes ( I'm still in bed and can't go down and deal with stuff) and she said "No!" He said it again and she said "NO! Try me!".....yeesh.....we are going on a week of this. She goes out of the door in front of him and shuts the door on him. He's like "what the heck?!" There's something more to this that her just feeling like being rude. I don't know if she's upset with me for being in bed or what. This behavior has to be coming from somewhere. Then I have people sending their kids over to my house to play. Uh, HELLO.......HELLO!!!!!! I am up in my bed looking and feeling like trash! Maybe you people who are sending your kids over HERE could call me and ask if MY kids could come to YOUR house!
You can see I am done. Done. Done. What happened to common courtesy? I do have to say that my primary president/friend came over and came upstairs to get my lesson that I am supposed to teach tomorrow. She saw with her own eyes my "room of horror". I could seriously charge admission. It's that bad. She offered to clean, which was sweet, but it's so bad she wouldn't know what to do. I miss Japan at times like these. When someone in our branch was sick or down people would call ( sometimes a little to much, but I appreciated it), they'd come over and drop off soup and bread ( we all did this for each other). They'd offere to watch your kids for a bit, not send THEIR kids to YOUR house. They just show up and don't even ask.
I'd go to the Dr and come home to jam and bread on my porch. We were a family, because we were away from family. The culture here is different. Not bad, but different, and I miss the closeness of a small branch. I love the people in my ward, but I really miss my small branch. If you missed church, everyone in the branch called. I am feeling a little homesick for Japan and my military sisters. As military wives we had to band together and take care of each other. Sorry, percocet and Valium and blogs probably don't mix and I am getting weird
.
At least I'm not driving. :) The man fixed the garbage disposal. There were bottle tops from sodas in there. Sigh.....I just feel done. Tomorrow will be day 7 in bed.
I hope that by Monday I can at least walk around the house a bit. Thanks to those of you who have called or sent me messages. It's really meant a lot to me. With a husband gone so much I get a little weepy at times like this and I appreciate the thoughts......you know who you are....thank you. I'm really done now. Have a great weekend. Oh, and I had someone mention that I get to personal on my blog. It's my blog and I can say what I want. If you don't like it, don't read it. :)
You can see I am done. Done. Done. What happened to common courtesy? I do have to say that my primary president/friend came over and came upstairs to get my lesson that I am supposed to teach tomorrow. She saw with her own eyes my "room of horror". I could seriously charge admission. It's that bad. She offered to clean, which was sweet, but it's so bad she wouldn't know what to do. I miss Japan at times like these. When someone in our branch was sick or down people would call ( sometimes a little to much, but I appreciated it), they'd come over and drop off soup and bread ( we all did this for each other). They'd offere to watch your kids for a bit, not send THEIR kids to YOUR house. They just show up and don't even ask.
I'd go to the Dr and come home to jam and bread on my porch. We were a family, because we were away from family. The culture here is different. Not bad, but different, and I miss the closeness of a small branch. I love the people in my ward, but I really miss my small branch. If you missed church, everyone in the branch called. I am feeling a little homesick for Japan and my military sisters. As military wives we had to band together and take care of each other. Sorry, percocet and Valium and blogs probably don't mix and I am getting weird
.
At least I'm not driving. :) The man fixed the garbage disposal. There were bottle tops from sodas in there. Sigh.....I just feel done. Tomorrow will be day 7 in bed.
I hope that by Monday I can at least walk around the house a bit. Thanks to those of you who have called or sent me messages. It's really meant a lot to me. With a husband gone so much I get a little weepy at times like this and I appreciate the thoughts......you know who you are....thank you. I'm really done now. Have a great weekend. Oh, and I had someone mention that I get to personal on my blog. It's my blog and I can say what I want. If you don't like it, don't read it. :)
Life on Planet Hansen - Day 6
I am now on my 6th day in recuperation, still having to stay in bed. This is beginning
to make me angry. I don't have time for this. How many of you mom's out there reading this have time to just lay in bed for 6 days? At first, day one, if I hadn't been in so much pain I would have thought "Sweet! I don't have to clean." Now I am just bugged.
I could charge admission to my bedroom .... sort of like a haunted house.....this would be
"SHELLEY'S SCARY BEDROOM". It's a disaster. I won't go into details. It's not a pretty sight though. It stinks ( like in the SMELL??) and even I look scary..... The crowd ( children ) are getting restless. Kameron is having to deal with whatever happens downstairs. A mission is going to be a piece of cake after this week. That is, it'll be a piece of cake for him. He's been amazing. Precious marched another friend upstairs while I was in my bed, in my underwear ( under the sheets, but still). I can't put on my clothes....I was to tired ( drugs ) to protest. HEY, maybe SHE is charging people money to come upstairs and see me and the horrible room!? My husband travels a lot for his business and he's gone, so he can't help out. I miss him. But he's out making the money that keeps us in our house, so I won't complain. For those of you who know me, I have a sense of humor, so when I am writing my blog it's always tongue in cheek. I believe that without a sense of humor we are lost. The worst part of the back issue is that tomorrow I will miss the biggest church program of the year. It's called a Primary Sacrament Presentation. I am one of the people who works in the primary. It was my job tomorrow to help with that and to also do the lesson in Sunday school when it's over. I can't. I can't put my right leg in my car all by myself....Kam has to pick up my foot and put it in the car. I can't stand/sit and teach in church for 3 hours tomorrow. I had tickets to Michael Jacksons movie "This is IT" too.....on Wed. the 28th. I won't be able to sit that long. I have a sense of humor, but I am still MAD! Oh, and Kekeli is still talking back BIG TIME to Kameron. I had them all come in my room last night and had a chat with them about it. We'll see what happens. There's so much more to tell dear readers....but I am afraid with my rambling I will cause you to lose interest, if you haven't already. So, cheers....have a good weekend and don't hurt your back!
to make me angry. I don't have time for this. How many of you mom's out there reading this have time to just lay in bed for 6 days? At first, day one, if I hadn't been in so much pain I would have thought "Sweet! I don't have to clean." Now I am just bugged.
I could charge admission to my bedroom .... sort of like a haunted house.....this would be
"SHELLEY'S SCARY BEDROOM". It's a disaster. I won't go into details. It's not a pretty sight though. It stinks ( like in the SMELL??) and even I look scary..... The crowd ( children ) are getting restless. Kameron is having to deal with whatever happens downstairs. A mission is going to be a piece of cake after this week. That is, it'll be a piece of cake for him. He's been amazing. Precious marched another friend upstairs while I was in my bed, in my underwear ( under the sheets, but still). I can't put on my clothes....I was to tired ( drugs ) to protest. HEY, maybe SHE is charging people money to come upstairs and see me and the horrible room!? My husband travels a lot for his business and he's gone, so he can't help out. I miss him. But he's out making the money that keeps us in our house, so I won't complain. For those of you who know me, I have a sense of humor, so when I am writing my blog it's always tongue in cheek. I believe that without a sense of humor we are lost. The worst part of the back issue is that tomorrow I will miss the biggest church program of the year. It's called a Primary Sacrament Presentation. I am one of the people who works in the primary. It was my job tomorrow to help with that and to also do the lesson in Sunday school when it's over. I can't. I can't put my right leg in my car all by myself....Kam has to pick up my foot and put it in the car. I can't stand/sit and teach in church for 3 hours tomorrow. I had tickets to Michael Jacksons movie "This is IT" too.....on Wed. the 28th. I won't be able to sit that long. I have a sense of humor, but I am still MAD! Oh, and Kekeli is still talking back BIG TIME to Kameron. I had them all come in my room last night and had a chat with them about it. We'll see what happens. There's so much more to tell dear readers....but I am afraid with my rambling I will cause you to lose interest, if you haven't already. So, cheers....have a good weekend and don't hurt your back!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Life is not boring
Day 5 1/2 and still in bed, but I know it could always be worse.....much worse.
At least I know I will soon be able to recover and get OUT of bed. Life, even when in bed, is not boring! Yesterday I got a call from Precious teacher to say that Precious took the computer typing class test and had one of the higher scores in her class! Progress! She LOVES typing on the computer. Today was Shannan's birthday and Kameron decorated my bedroom so that I could be part of the festivities for Shannan. He's really done a great job spoiling her for her birthday. He's going to make some lucky girl a great husband and his kids a great father. But first he'll make his mission companions feel lucky to have him ( he cooks, he cleans, he's nice and has a good attitude.) Today I was laying in my bed ( because where else would I be?) and I see an old woman coming up my stairs and into my room. I recognize her, but don't know her. She lives in my culdesac. We have never spoken, or even waved. She is usually not outside. She lives with her daughter. She comes in and I'm like "maybe the kids let her in"....so I say hi. I'm totally embarrassed because my room is a totally pigsty, like REALLY bad.......5 1/2 days of no cleaning. I smell bad, the room smells bad. But I invite her in and say hello. She doesn't speak English well. I believe she is from El Salvador or Chile, she has a sweet spirit. I try to speak in a way she'll understand and we try to converse the best we can. She told me "My memory no good". I said "Oh, I see....you forget easy?" She said "yes". We spoke a bit longer, then she took my dirty dishes and went to my kitchen and then left. The boys ran upstairs yelling "WHO WAS THAT LADY!!!???" I told them it was the lady across the street who lives with her daughter. I called a lady from church who is in charge of the women's church group and asked her if she knew if this woman is okay and she said "Oh, she has Alzheimer's". I thought so.....so I told her what happened and she called the ladies daughter. Good to know....now I can watch out for her. She's a nice lady, just has a "no good memory"." Heck, we could be best friends because I have "my memory no good" either. She's about 75 or so. Nice woman. Today all I have had to eat is 1 cheese quesadilla for breakfast, chips and candy for lunch....and a brownie. It's food and it's plenty, but it's just junk food. Kam's taking the kids out to eat for Shan's bday. Before they went out Precious ate enough to make up for 2 dinners ( Keanu tattled). That girl can eat. Shannan tells her "Precious, if you keep eatin' like that you ain't ever gonna get a man!".....sigh........ I requested Kentucky Fried Chicken meal, with extras ( you know, healthy stuff like that :). I'm wanting some "good stuff". Biscuits with honey and mashed potatos with gravy. Anyway, life is certainly not boring. Also, I was happy to see Shannan drinking out of her princess cup instead of a big black cup that says PIMP across it!
At least I know I will soon be able to recover and get OUT of bed. Life, even when in bed, is not boring! Yesterday I got a call from Precious teacher to say that Precious took the computer typing class test and had one of the higher scores in her class! Progress! She LOVES typing on the computer. Today was Shannan's birthday and Kameron decorated my bedroom so that I could be part of the festivities for Shannan. He's really done a great job spoiling her for her birthday. He's going to make some lucky girl a great husband and his kids a great father. But first he'll make his mission companions feel lucky to have him ( he cooks, he cleans, he's nice and has a good attitude.) Today I was laying in my bed ( because where else would I be?) and I see an old woman coming up my stairs and into my room. I recognize her, but don't know her. She lives in my culdesac. We have never spoken, or even waved. She is usually not outside. She lives with her daughter. She comes in and I'm like "maybe the kids let her in"....so I say hi. I'm totally embarrassed because my room is a totally pigsty, like REALLY bad.......5 1/2 days of no cleaning. I smell bad, the room smells bad. But I invite her in and say hello. She doesn't speak English well. I believe she is from El Salvador or Chile, she has a sweet spirit. I try to speak in a way she'll understand and we try to converse the best we can. She told me "My memory no good". I said "Oh, I see....you forget easy?" She said "yes". We spoke a bit longer, then she took my dirty dishes and went to my kitchen and then left. The boys ran upstairs yelling "WHO WAS THAT LADY!!!???" I told them it was the lady across the street who lives with her daughter. I called a lady from church who is in charge of the women's church group and asked her if she knew if this woman is okay and she said "Oh, she has Alzheimer's". I thought so.....so I told her what happened and she called the ladies daughter. Good to know....now I can watch out for her. She's a nice lady, just has a "no good memory"." Heck, we could be best friends because I have "my memory no good" either. She's about 75 or so. Nice woman. Today all I have had to eat is 1 cheese quesadilla for breakfast, chips and candy for lunch....and a brownie. It's food and it's plenty, but it's just junk food. Kam's taking the kids out to eat for Shan's bday. Before they went out Precious ate enough to make up for 2 dinners ( Keanu tattled). That girl can eat. Shannan tells her "Precious, if you keep eatin' like that you ain't ever gonna get a man!".....sigh........ I requested Kentucky Fried Chicken meal, with extras ( you know, healthy stuff like that :). I'm wanting some "good stuff". Biscuits with honey and mashed potatos with gravy. Anyway, life is certainly not boring. Also, I was happy to see Shannan drinking out of her princess cup instead of a big black cup that says PIMP across it!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Mom guilt
Tomorrow Kekeli's big food project is due. Tomorrow is Shannan's birthday.
I am still unable to do anything. It takes me 15 minutes just to get down the stairs and out to the car to go to the doctor....and it isn't a pretty sight. I feel bad. I can't shop for Shannan's presents. I can't take her to dinner or lunch. I can't make the Fufu and cookies for Kekeli's class presentation. What makes it worse is that Kekeli is acting really offended and hurt by this. *sigh* I told her that Kameron will help her bake the cookies and Keanu will help her with the Fufu. She said she doesn't WANT to make Fufu. I explained that this is for geography and the teacher wants ethnic dishes, and Fufu is from Ghana...and she came from Ghana. I told her she doesn't need to make enough for everyone to eat it, but at least they can pass it around and see it.
We aren't seeing eye to eye, and I can't help her. She's mad and mopey. Shannan went today with her older brother Kameron to do her birthday "day off". He took her shopping for shirts at Justice, for earrings at Claire's Boutique and he took her to a build a bear type place ( isn't build a bear, but like it....only cheaper :). He's been such a huge help. I didn't go to Precious concert ( the one I didn't know about or give a permission slip for). I feel like I am falling down on the job....and realistically I AM falling down on the job because if I get up I WILL fall down! :) I can't clean. I can't lean over to turn on a water faucet. I can't lean over to spit in the sink after I brush my teeth. I can't flush a toilet. I can't bend, reach, twist. Sitting hurts like a mother. But the kids don't understand what's happening. I think that they think I am just playing hooky. Trust me, I'm not. I'm sick of laying in bed. I'm sick of eating pop tarts and weight watcher meals that are cold. My breath is bad and even I can't stand the way I smell. But they come in and give me a guilt trip ( Kekeli and Precious)....and I do feel guilty....because I know that they DON'T understand and they DO feel like I am not giving them the help that they need. Shannan and Keanu have seen me go through this two other times, so they sort of understand and try to help me. Kekeli just stays away from me. Precious comes in and wants to lay on me and hug me and I have to say "nope....just hold my hand...a hug will hurt me." I know as mother's we all go through situations where we feel guilty. It's just part of the job. I just needed to write it out. I hope that when they come home from tutoring they like me again. Kameron, my 19 year old, has taken over all of the mom duties for me. He's amazing. Other than that, I am just here....in my bed.....getting mad and feeling guilty for not being able to do ANYTHING!
I am still unable to do anything. It takes me 15 minutes just to get down the stairs and out to the car to go to the doctor....and it isn't a pretty sight. I feel bad. I can't shop for Shannan's presents. I can't take her to dinner or lunch. I can't make the Fufu and cookies for Kekeli's class presentation. What makes it worse is that Kekeli is acting really offended and hurt by this. *sigh* I told her that Kameron will help her bake the cookies and Keanu will help her with the Fufu. She said she doesn't WANT to make Fufu. I explained that this is for geography and the teacher wants ethnic dishes, and Fufu is from Ghana...and she came from Ghana. I told her she doesn't need to make enough for everyone to eat it, but at least they can pass it around and see it.
We aren't seeing eye to eye, and I can't help her. She's mad and mopey. Shannan went today with her older brother Kameron to do her birthday "day off". He took her shopping for shirts at Justice, for earrings at Claire's Boutique and he took her to a build a bear type place ( isn't build a bear, but like it....only cheaper :). He's been such a huge help. I didn't go to Precious concert ( the one I didn't know about or give a permission slip for). I feel like I am falling down on the job....and realistically I AM falling down on the job because if I get up I WILL fall down! :) I can't clean. I can't lean over to turn on a water faucet. I can't lean over to spit in the sink after I brush my teeth. I can't flush a toilet. I can't bend, reach, twist. Sitting hurts like a mother. But the kids don't understand what's happening. I think that they think I am just playing hooky. Trust me, I'm not. I'm sick of laying in bed. I'm sick of eating pop tarts and weight watcher meals that are cold. My breath is bad and even I can't stand the way I smell. But they come in and give me a guilt trip ( Kekeli and Precious)....and I do feel guilty....because I know that they DON'T understand and they DO feel like I am not giving them the help that they need. Shannan and Keanu have seen me go through this two other times, so they sort of understand and try to help me. Kekeli just stays away from me. Precious comes in and wants to lay on me and hug me and I have to say "nope....just hold my hand...a hug will hurt me." I know as mother's we all go through situations where we feel guilty. It's just part of the job. I just needed to write it out. I hope that when they come home from tutoring they like me again. Kameron, my 19 year old, has taken over all of the mom duties for me. He's amazing. Other than that, I am just here....in my bed.....getting mad and feeling guilty for not being able to do ANYTHING!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Llife on Planet Hansen - A Germaphobes take on the Swine Flu
Recently in my daughters school there have been several confirmed cases of swine flu, but not enough to warrant closing the school. At church there have also been several cases of swine flu and a couple of unconfirmed cases that probably were, but they weren't tested. Our area has run out of the vaccine for now. I am starting to become a germaphobe ( I already am, on a good day) about things. I realize that when I go to a video store that many people have picked up the same video I am renting. I also wonder what happens when they get the videos home....do they store them on the floor where the baby sucks on it? The door handles to the store probably have never been sanitized. Someone coughs in their hand, then opens the door. Ick.
Church...we all open the same door to get inside. We all sit down and pick up hymn books that have been touched by hundreds of hands over a period of months or years and I am pretty sure they aren't sanitized ( books ). Then when the sacrament is blessed the bread is broken by bare hands that have hopefully been washed by young men who aren't sick. The sacrament tray is passed from hand to hand to each person in the entire ward. If you use the water fountain, hands touch that over and over....and some noses of little kids also touch the water fountain( so I never drink from the fountain). The water cups for sacrament are handled by hands. Nursery? I don't even want to go into how germy the nursery can be.
Emergency rooms and Insta Care clinics are scary. I went in for a bad back. I'm healthy other than that. The people in the clinic are coughing and hacking. If your coughing, hacking and have a fever PLEASE wear a mask and cough into your elbow (not your hands). I HATE going into clinics and ER's when I am not sick, but have an issue like this back thing, and I am surrounded by coughing, hacking, feverish, vomiting people who aren't wearing a mask. I sit right by the door so at least the air comes in and out by me.
If you are going to a party, church function or family gathering and you have a sick child...please don't go to it. Stay home.
Then there are baskets at grocery stores, and the pen for the pen pad for the debit card. :) I could go on and on and on.....I guess the number one way to prevent spreading or getting the H1N1 virus is to WASH YOUR HANDS all of the time. Carry sanitizer spray and gel. I may sound overboard, but I am just paranoid. I don't have time to get sick ( who does ) and I don't want my kids to get it. Keanu gets allergy or bronchial induced ( with colds ) asthma. I want to tell people who have sick children, "Don't take your children to church, or school." This has just been on my mind a lot recently, especially since no one in my family has been able to get the H1N1 vaccine or mist for the H1N1 virus. We got the seasonal flu vaccines, but that doesn't cover the swine flu. I know I sound like a mom (oh, that is because I AM a mom!!) Wash your hands, stay home if you are sick, keep your kids home if they are sick. Take your own pen in your purse so if you are at a store you don't have to use the one the store provides that hundred of people handle. Donate hand sanitizer to your children's classrooms. I hope I don't sound like a freak, but I had to get this "out there". I could ramble on forever. I won't. :) Now go wash your hands.:)
Sorry, I promise I am not a nut job ( well.......I probably am, but I will never admit it! :) I just had to put this phobia of mine out there into the universe :)
I hope all of you can avoid getting the H1N1 virus this year.
Church...we all open the same door to get inside. We all sit down and pick up hymn books that have been touched by hundreds of hands over a period of months or years and I am pretty sure they aren't sanitized ( books ). Then when the sacrament is blessed the bread is broken by bare hands that have hopefully been washed by young men who aren't sick. The sacrament tray is passed from hand to hand to each person in the entire ward. If you use the water fountain, hands touch that over and over....and some noses of little kids also touch the water fountain( so I never drink from the fountain). The water cups for sacrament are handled by hands. Nursery? I don't even want to go into how germy the nursery can be.
Emergency rooms and Insta Care clinics are scary. I went in for a bad back. I'm healthy other than that. The people in the clinic are coughing and hacking. If your coughing, hacking and have a fever PLEASE wear a mask and cough into your elbow (not your hands). I HATE going into clinics and ER's when I am not sick, but have an issue like this back thing, and I am surrounded by coughing, hacking, feverish, vomiting people who aren't wearing a mask. I sit right by the door so at least the air comes in and out by me.
If you are going to a party, church function or family gathering and you have a sick child...please don't go to it. Stay home.
Then there are baskets at grocery stores, and the pen for the pen pad for the debit card. :) I could go on and on and on.....I guess the number one way to prevent spreading or getting the H1N1 virus is to WASH YOUR HANDS all of the time. Carry sanitizer spray and gel. I may sound overboard, but I am just paranoid. I don't have time to get sick ( who does ) and I don't want my kids to get it. Keanu gets allergy or bronchial induced ( with colds ) asthma. I want to tell people who have sick children, "Don't take your children to church, or school." This has just been on my mind a lot recently, especially since no one in my family has been able to get the H1N1 vaccine or mist for the H1N1 virus. We got the seasonal flu vaccines, but that doesn't cover the swine flu. I know I sound like a mom (oh, that is because I AM a mom!!) Wash your hands, stay home if you are sick, keep your kids home if they are sick. Take your own pen in your purse so if you are at a store you don't have to use the one the store provides that hundred of people handle. Donate hand sanitizer to your children's classrooms. I hope I don't sound like a freak, but I had to get this "out there". I could ramble on forever. I won't. :) Now go wash your hands.:)
Sorry, I promise I am not a nut job ( well.......I probably am, but I will never admit it! :) I just had to put this phobia of mine out there into the universe :)
I hope all of you can avoid getting the H1N1 virus this year.
Life on Planet Hansen - Fashion Do's and Don'ts
Today, 4pm. I am in bed, still unable to walk or sit.
Precious comes upstairs and into my room. I'm asleep due to the
effects of the pain meds. I'm totally loopy when she comes into my room with her friend behind her and says
"Mom! I have to be ready for my concert by 5pm!" ( shouts it )
(Me, jerked awake) "What concert are you talking about?!"
(Precious) "My choir concert!"
(me) "I have no idea what you are talking about Precious."
(her friend) " Precious,didn't you give your mom the permission slip?"
(Precious) "What permission slip? Huh? What is that?"
(me)"Precious, do you have a paper that tells about this concert?"
(blank stare.....she just looks at me).
(me) "Precious, where is your permission slip?"
(Precious) "What is that!?....I don't HAVE ONE!"
(Precious friend) "The teacher gave it to you two weeks ago."
(me to Precious friend ) "What is going on?"
(Precious friend) "We have a choir concert practice at 5pm until 6pm, then we are supposed to come home and then go back to the school at 7 for the performance".
(me to Precious) "Precious, when did you get this permission slip?"
(Precious) "I don't know!"
(her friend) "Precious , we got it 2 Weeks ago and we were supposed to bring it home and have it signed! You are supposed to wear a knee length skirt or office pants (?)"
So I write up my own permission slip. Ask her friends mom if she can take her ( she says yes) then I tell Precious to let her friend help her get dressed. They come into my room and Precious is wearing a hootchie mama micro mini ( just to WAYYYY small ) skirt.
I say "no way, go find something else."
She gives me her deflated/insulted look.
her friend says "I told you it was to short."
So they go back, she changed again.
This time she comes back in a different hootchie mamma skirt with leggings. I say no. She looks upset. I say go change again.
So she comes back with two skirts of Shannan's ( who is 3 yrs younger) and says "I am wearing one of these". They are 2 sizes to small. She is determined to look like a floozy!
I say "No, you are most certainly not."
Her friend says"I told you so".
She goes pouting BACK into her room ( I am ready to cry) and comes back wearing jeans and a Tshirt. I said "That's good".
I seriously doubt her choir teacher will tell her no, she can't perform in her nice jeans and a top. She doesn't have "office pants", whatever those are. Of course, if I had seen a letter from the choir leader I could have been prepared, but I think Precious lost it. Now she is doing her hair, preparing to go to her concert. I'm so glad I saw her change. I can only imagine what would have happened if she had changed and left and had been wearing a micro mini hootchie mama skirt. I most certainly will not be receiving the "Mother of the Year" award.
Kekeli is a little easier, but she is still learning too. One day she came out in a Halloween Tshirt, gray skirt, purple leggings and knee boots and a yellow, brown and orange headband, ready for church.
I carefully told her Halloween shirts aren't appropriate for church and that maybe she needs to wear black or gray leggings and a solid color head band. She looked sad. She liked her ensemble. I worry she'll go to church and the other girls will laugh at her, so I had her change. She'll figure it out eventually.
Or maybe we will just ALL go to church one Sunday in our Halloween costumes. Think that would go over well? :)
Precious comes upstairs and into my room. I'm asleep due to the
effects of the pain meds. I'm totally loopy when she comes into my room with her friend behind her and says
"Mom! I have to be ready for my concert by 5pm!" ( shouts it )
(Me, jerked awake) "What concert are you talking about?!"
(Precious) "My choir concert!"
(me) "I have no idea what you are talking about Precious."
(her friend) " Precious,didn't you give your mom the permission slip?"
(Precious) "What permission slip? Huh? What is that?"
(me)"Precious, do you have a paper that tells about this concert?"
(blank stare.....she just looks at me).
(me) "Precious, where is your permission slip?"
(Precious) "What is that!?....I don't HAVE ONE!"
(Precious friend) "The teacher gave it to you two weeks ago."
(me to Precious friend ) "What is going on?"
(Precious friend) "We have a choir concert practice at 5pm until 6pm, then we are supposed to come home and then go back to the school at 7 for the performance".
(me to Precious) "Precious, when did you get this permission slip?"
(Precious) "I don't know!"
(her friend) "Precious , we got it 2 Weeks ago and we were supposed to bring it home and have it signed! You are supposed to wear a knee length skirt or office pants (?)"
So I write up my own permission slip. Ask her friends mom if she can take her ( she says yes) then I tell Precious to let her friend help her get dressed. They come into my room and Precious is wearing a hootchie mama micro mini ( just to WAYYYY small ) skirt.
I say "no way, go find something else."
She gives me her deflated/insulted look.
her friend says "I told you it was to short."
So they go back, she changed again.
This time she comes back in a different hootchie mamma skirt with leggings. I say no. She looks upset. I say go change again.
So she comes back with two skirts of Shannan's ( who is 3 yrs younger) and says "I am wearing one of these". They are 2 sizes to small. She is determined to look like a floozy!
I say "No, you are most certainly not."
Her friend says"I told you so".
She goes pouting BACK into her room ( I am ready to cry) and comes back wearing jeans and a Tshirt. I said "That's good".
I seriously doubt her choir teacher will tell her no, she can't perform in her nice jeans and a top. She doesn't have "office pants", whatever those are. Of course, if I had seen a letter from the choir leader I could have been prepared, but I think Precious lost it. Now she is doing her hair, preparing to go to her concert. I'm so glad I saw her change. I can only imagine what would have happened if she had changed and left and had been wearing a micro mini hootchie mama skirt. I most certainly will not be receiving the "Mother of the Year" award.
Kekeli is a little easier, but she is still learning too. One day she came out in a Halloween Tshirt, gray skirt, purple leggings and knee boots and a yellow, brown and orange headband, ready for church.
I carefully told her Halloween shirts aren't appropriate for church and that maybe she needs to wear black or gray leggings and a solid color head band. She looked sad. She liked her ensemble. I worry she'll go to church and the other girls will laugh at her, so I had her change. She'll figure it out eventually.
Or maybe we will just ALL go to church one Sunday in our Halloween costumes. Think that would go over well? :)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Planet Hansen - Interesting Day
Kekeli's English teacher just called. She is giving her a literary outline to do on a book she's read. She called me because Kekeli told her that she had read Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. The teacher called to ask me if that was true. Kekeli was busted. I said "Heck no! She can't read well enough to read that book." That isn't an insult to Kekeli, it's just fact. She kept Kekeli after school to call me. I'm glad she did. Kekeli wrote that down and tried to turn it in without my signature. She won't do that again. Also, if she had been given the test for Harry Potter it would NOT have been pretty. She has read the first boxcar children books ( first two) and when I do a reading comprehension test with her later ( questions regarding the book), she never can answer the questions. So she's reading the words that she can, but not comprehending them. It will come in time. She's progressing and she WANTS to progress. That helps immensely that she has that desire to learn. So, after the teacher calls me the phone rings again. It's Kekeli "Mom, come pick me up. I missed the bus." Poor girl. She's having a bad day. She is learning though. I told her "Well, I can't come pick you up. My back is totally out and I can't even get out of my bed." I didn't tell her I am also having to take medicine for the pain and can't drive the car. Thank goodness Kam was still home. I sent him to get her. It's been an interesting day. Hopefully she'll feel okay about her English class situation. Her teacher handled it well. Calling me was a great idea. I don't think the English teacher really likes me. I guess all that matters is that Kekeli goes to her class and does her best. That's all she can do. I'll do my best to help her. Sometimes my best doesn't feel like it's always enough. I think all moms can relate to that feeling. Dad's can relate to that feeling as well. I wish I could write a blog all about how perfect I am and tell people how to be perfect like me. Instead you can read about my imperfections and how NOT to be like me. :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Life
First of all, life is good. I am an optimist and I like for everyone to be happy. Maybe that's an unrealistic expectation most of the time, but it's better than the alternative. This weekend has been a challenge for me. I've been worrying about my older kids. A sick daughter ( who has pneumonia) and a son who gets his first chance at putting out his first real fire tomorrow at his fire science school. In the midst of this Kekeli has her first ever really big project due for English. The teacher only expects her to do half of the project, but even that has proven to be a huge job. Kekeli's life experiences haven't prepared her to write newspaper articles on the topics that were given. I gave her ideas and most of the articles were mine, but she added her twist to all of them. She was able to come up with a sentence or two to add to each article. While doing this project spelling was a big challenge. Grammar and punctuation were really almost impossible for her to get. In the beginning I was trying to help her by correcting words that weren't spelled right or showing her where the period goes. But it was every other word and every other sentence, so I decided "let it be". Let her do the work as best she can and turn in her best effort. That's what I did. I told her "good job!" and now she's downstairs trying to print it all out. So, tomorrow she'll turn it in and we'll see what happens. Her tutor has worked with her on several of the newspaper articles ( it's a report, written in the format of a newspaper) and I did several. He did a better job. :) Then, my back went out and I am now bedridden until I can walk pain free. I can barely get out of the bed to the bathroom. I can't go downstairs to help her finish the assignment and she is downstairs pouting. Sigh.....life can be good and challenging all at the same time. I'm having a hard time keeping up with Precious' work. Every week she has something missing. Usually she can't find whatever it is. Then today, as I am laying in my messy bedroom in pain I hear the kids come home from school. Precious runs up the stairs and has a friend with her.....and she brings her right into my room up to my bed. That was not what I was anticipating. That is another story. This is about school work...I feel like I am dropping the ball. There are two other kids, Shannan and Keanu, who need my help and attention. Sometimes they feel like they are lower on the list since they don't need as much help. I have a son who needs my help preparing to go on his mission on November 11th. I have a church calling to do. I have the primary sacrament program on Sunday and I am also conducting and doing sharing time for everyone. I don't know how to help everyone with everything and not miss something. I'll let you know if I figure it out. Until then I will just keep trying to remain optimistic and nice. It's better than being a mean pessimistic person. :)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - What is a bumper sticker?
We are still learning :) It's something we all do for a life time (learn). Today Precious was working on an assignment for school. It involved using spelling words to make a sentence (in a rectangle on the paper) that you would put on a bumper sticker. First question she asked is "What is a bumper sticker?" So we had a lesson about bumper stickers. "But why do you do that?" she asks. I told her why some people use bumper stickers. I asked her to tell me why some people put them on their cars. She said "Uhhh, so.....I don't know." :) She is trying to think up sentences to use for her bumper stickers and she doesn't really understand why, but she goes along with it. She is learning. Tomorrow we will have to look for bumper stickers...in Ghana they have bumper stickers, or window stickers. One of my favorites is of Jesus and under it it says "Captain Jesus". Anyway, I asked what she called them (bumper stickers) in Ghana but she said that she just saw them and there wasn't a name. :) I know there is a name for them in Ghana. Maybe it's bumper sticker :). If you know the name let me know. Every day is a new adventure in learning.....for all of us.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Learning to ask first
New things are being discovered on a daily basis. Some of them are fun, like today Kekeli and Precious saw a magnifying glass for the first time. That opens up a whole new way of looking at things. :) They are going all over the place with it looking at everything. That's fun. Then there's things like asking mom first before you do things.....like cut the barbies hair ( I would say no ) :). Ask before you eat my weight watchers frozen dinner ( Precious microwaves them for snacks....I've caught her and I think she's cured of that :), so now she asks "MOM! Can I have frozen food for dinner?!" :) When cooking or using the stove or microwave, please ask for my help. PLEASE ask me first before you try and fry an egg! Precious will wake up and decide she's going to pour 2 cups of oil in a pan ( I am still in bed )...and fry an egg in it. I wake up to the smell of hot oil and burning egg and run downstairs. ASK FIRST, so I can help you....so you don't hurt yourself or others. Ask first before you pour bleach on the laundry. :) Ask first before you put dawn dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher. :) There's lots of fun firsts that we are experiencing, and it's all good. It's normal to have to learn a new enviroment. We are all learning. Today's issue...ask mom before you invite friends over. This is the newest one. Precious invites school friends over....the first time I vowed to talk to her about asking first, but I forgot. My fault. Today she showed up with a different friend ( the friends aunt just dropped her off...no one asked my permission). So, this evening we will be discussing that. It will all come in time. Today's topic is asking mom before you invite friends over.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Learning the concept of time
One thing that Precious and Kekeli are still trying to grasp is the concept of time. When I say "We are leaving now" I mean now. To Precious and Kekeli it means go upstairs, comb your hair, get a drink of water, put on your shoes....this morning was a good example of that. I told Precious "We are leaving in 5 minutes. Hurry and get your things together." She had already had about an hour to get ready and was not ready. When we went out to the car I told her "We are getting in the car, come outside"..."Okay mom". We get in the car....wait....no Precious. I send Kekeli in, Kekeli says "She said that she knows and she's coming..." a couple of minutes go by....still no Precious. Finally she came out to the car, mad and whining about not having her coat ( it's not cold, it'll be 70 today). So, that is something I need to work harder on teaching. It's important to be on time and to understand the concept of time. When I say we are going to visit Ghana in 3 years she'll ask "Is that next Tuesday?"....then we have a discussion about what 3 years means. Next week may as well be 3 years from now to her. :) If I say "This weekend we will go to a movie." She'll ask "Is that tomorrow?" So, it's a work in progress. Kekeli is grasping the idea quicker. She's older. She is still learning how to be ready to go on time though. I know lot's of people born in the USA who still don't know how to be ready on time, so she's not alone...she has good company. :) Precious still doesnt understand the concept of yesterday. I guess it comes with time :) :)
Monday, October 12, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Love and Learning
Positivity. I try to stay optimistic...positive. It's easy to do when you see the love of learning in your home. Kekeli is so eager to learn and lights up when she "gets it". Her teachers love teaching her because she loves to learn. I love that she is always asking me questions and wanting real answers. It's hard to believe that she's only been here just over a year. She's made great progress. Precious is really catching up nicely and loves learning too. She's a little more interested in socializing sometimes, but she also realizes she needs to listen. She has been more distracted by all the new things that have entered her life. She's excited about everything. It can be contagious, that excitement. Shannan, Keanu and Kameron have really been a lot more secure about our new family dynamics and are forming even closer bonds with Kekeli and Precious. They are truly brothers and sisters. Kameron takes them to movies or to play golf. Keanu helps Precious more with her homework (because he WANTS to). They give hugs. They play together. They dance together. They walk to and from school together. It makes me happy to see the love they have for one another. It takes time to find the balance, but we are getting closer and closer. The main thing is that now everyone feels secure in their place in the family. Everyone knows they are safe and loved. It makes it a much more relaxed and happy environment when everyone feels loved and safe. I just want all of the families who are in the early stages like me, or who are in the process of adoption, to know that it's worth all the paperwork and all of the time waiting....I can't imagine our family without Kekeli and Precious. I feel like they have always been here. That's the way it's supposed to be. We are all still learning, but we love each other. Everything will be alright.
Life on Planet Hansen - Letter to the Lady down the street
Dear Lady Down the Street,
Last week I received a call from your husband who was out of state on a business trip. He asked me to go and get your children ( your new 1 month old baby, 2 yr old son and two daughters ages 6 and 8) from the side walk....the police and the CPS had them and were about to take them into foster care if someone ( family or friend) didn't come get them. You had run your car off the road and crashed into someones mailbox....again. Your husband called me because I am the only person he could get a hold of who he could trust with your children. I couldn't get to the police so I had to call my husband and ask him to do it. He brought your 4 small children to our house. Your children told us about how you yelled at the policeman, how they had to try two times to handcuff you and how you were taking your pills ( prescription meds) to much. It was a horrible thing for them to observe...their mother being arrested. You were driving under the influence of prescription medication. You took an ambien at 2 in the afternoon and then went to get your kids from school. THAT IS ILLEGAL. You spent two nights in jail. I spent 2 days and a night at your house....because your husband was trying to get home to take care of his family. Your baby, who is breast fed, was missing his momma. Your other children said "Mommy is sleeping in jail tonight". I said "Mommy is sleeping at the hospital. She loves you and misses you." You have hurt everyone. This was your third time ( second time to get caught)...you have hit two mail boxes in our neighborhood....those mailboxes could have been children. It could have been MY CHILD. There were some boys riding their bikes home from school who saw this happen. Different timing and it could have been those 3 boys you hit along with the mail box. Do you WANT TO LOSE YOUR CHILDREN???? You are in denial. What will it take before you realize you are a danger to your family when you put them in the car and you are under the influence? You are a danger to the community when you are driving under the influence. YOU ARE A DANGER TO MY CHILDREN. They walk home from school. I have seen you driving when they were walking. If I had known then what I know now I would have called CPS sooner. If I see you driving your car and I know you are not supposed to I will call the police and report you . I have already called Child Protective Services ( they gave us their card and will be visiting your home soon). You need to be stopped. You need help. You need to be there for your children. You need to WAKE UP! Next time I get a call from the police I will tell them to take your children into foster care....I hope there isn't a next time. I don't want that for your children. BUT, that may be the only way you and your husband learn that this is unacceptable behavior. We can't help you if you won't admit to being addicted to your prescription meds....get help. I will be watching for your car. You better not be driving it.
Last week I received a call from your husband who was out of state on a business trip. He asked me to go and get your children ( your new 1 month old baby, 2 yr old son and two daughters ages 6 and 8) from the side walk....the police and the CPS had them and were about to take them into foster care if someone ( family or friend) didn't come get them. You had run your car off the road and crashed into someones mailbox....again. Your husband called me because I am the only person he could get a hold of who he could trust with your children. I couldn't get to the police so I had to call my husband and ask him to do it. He brought your 4 small children to our house. Your children told us about how you yelled at the policeman, how they had to try two times to handcuff you and how you were taking your pills ( prescription meds) to much. It was a horrible thing for them to observe...their mother being arrested. You were driving under the influence of prescription medication. You took an ambien at 2 in the afternoon and then went to get your kids from school. THAT IS ILLEGAL. You spent two nights in jail. I spent 2 days and a night at your house....because your husband was trying to get home to take care of his family. Your baby, who is breast fed, was missing his momma. Your other children said "Mommy is sleeping in jail tonight". I said "Mommy is sleeping at the hospital. She loves you and misses you." You have hurt everyone. This was your third time ( second time to get caught)...you have hit two mail boxes in our neighborhood....those mailboxes could have been children. It could have been MY CHILD. There were some boys riding their bikes home from school who saw this happen. Different timing and it could have been those 3 boys you hit along with the mail box. Do you WANT TO LOSE YOUR CHILDREN???? You are in denial. What will it take before you realize you are a danger to your family when you put them in the car and you are under the influence? You are a danger to the community when you are driving under the influence. YOU ARE A DANGER TO MY CHILDREN. They walk home from school. I have seen you driving when they were walking. If I had known then what I know now I would have called CPS sooner. If I see you driving your car and I know you are not supposed to I will call the police and report you . I have already called Child Protective Services ( they gave us their card and will be visiting your home soon). You need to be stopped. You need help. You need to be there for your children. You need to WAKE UP! Next time I get a call from the police I will tell them to take your children into foster care....I hope there isn't a next time. I don't want that for your children. BUT, that may be the only way you and your husband learn that this is unacceptable behavior. We can't help you if you won't admit to being addicted to your prescription meds....get help. I will be watching for your car. You better not be driving it.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Parent Teacher Conference
This past week was parent teacher conference for Junior High. Kekeli ( who is only in her second year of American education and formal education) is in the 9th grade and I went and spoke to each and every one of her teachers. I spoke to all of them at the beginning of school and we spoke about her grade level ( 1st-2nd grade in reading, language and all subjects in English), 7-8th grade in math ( she LOVES math, and is quickly catching up. Word problems are her downfall because she doesn't comprehend what she is reading). I've spoken to the principal and vice principal about my concerns and they are currently working with the school district to implement a program into the school that will help her when she's at school. Each teacher is giving her the same assignments as the other kids, but with a "twist". She has a newspaper project that she is supposed to do. It requires choosing 16 subjects and writing a page to a page and a half for each subject....doing an index, etc....choosing titles. The teacher is only expecting 8 subjects from her, with as much as she is capable of writing ( half a page is acceptable). The whole point of this is not to expect less, but to help her absorb what she's learning. I explained to each teacher that her life experiences of American culture are absolutely not what her peers have. When the teachers speak in class she can't relate to or understand what they are talking about. Anyway, the good news is I think we are all on the same page now. She has 4 days of tutoring after school each week, 2 hours each time. She LOVES to learn and I don't want the school/teachers to crush that desire by putting an F on her paper, or giving her more than she can realistically comprehend or even accomplish. I end up doing a lot of her homework. I told the teachers that THAT doesn't teach her ANYTHING....it just gets "done" and handed in, with her learning nothing from the experience other than Mom can do her homework. NOT a good thing. I think we are past that now. Anyway, it's an adventure in educating a young lady who is new to the experiences to America and it's culture. She's a sponge who loves learning and I think everyone who is involved in her education gets excited about teaching her because of that eagerness. Anyway, just wanted to put that out there for those of you who are in the same boat, or about to be. It will be difficult finding that happy medium when it comes to educating your older adopted child....but with time and effort and lot's of prayer and some tears :) you will eventually get to that point. Then they will go to high school and you'll have to start all over :) !!! :) AGH! Anyway, I'm feeling happy and blessed that we have at least come to a place where everyone is on the same page when it comes to Kekeli and her education....communication is key. Be a squeaky wheel...but a nice one...to get things done.
Life on Planet Hansen - Newest Member of our Household
We are the proud new owners of yet another new vacuum. I got the year warranty on this one :) This is vacuum #4. I am waiting to repair the niks, dings, bangs and chunks of the baseboards and walls until we get the hang of vacuuming with care :)....til then we have lovely black scrapes, wood chunks in the baseboards, dings, bangs and whacks out of the corners of the walls. I think we've learned not to vacuum up bobby pins, pennies, barrettes, rubber bands and (HORROR OF ALL HORRORS)....FLOSS. Have you ever vacuumed up floss? If so, you know what I am talking about :) Kekeli is learning more and more each day and is willing and excited to help out with chores....usually....so that is a blessing. I don't think my husband knows about our newest vacuum, because I got a new one that looks just like the old one. :) Sneaky!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen- Vaccum 101 and Killer Mucus
Our family is now on it's 3rd vacuum cleaner, until today. I plugged it in, it sparked some scary "I'm gonna light you on fire" sparks, then I quickly unplugged it to see it had been vacuumed over by someone....Kekeli :) She's the vacuum er. So, we have to start over, with vacuum number 4. I haven't told my husband yet. I am going to try and get vacuums number 1 and 2 repaired first. I need to give a class, again, on how NOT to vacuum the cord, or pens, pencils, bobby pins...Just because it is on the floor doesn't mean that it can be sucked up. :) Sigh. So, today we begin Vacuum 101....again.
Also, you can't plow the vacuum into the wall and then back it into the banister. Our house is starting to show the nicks, dings and holes in the walls and that part right above the floor....there's a name for it, but it's slipped my forgetful mind.
:) After that we will have Mucus 101. Precious, mucus will NOT kill you....I'm pretty sure. Precious came home from school because her throat hurt. She called the first time and mentioned it. I asked the nurse if she had a fever. She said no. So I asked Precious if she felt sick enough to come home and go to bed and stay there. No computer, no outside, nothing....just bed. She said no, she wanted to stay at school. Then about 5 min later the phone rings again....now she's crying "My throat is worse!" I remind her that I can come and get her, but she'll have to come home and go to bed and rest...because she's sick. She says "Okay, come get me". When we are leaving the school she says "My throat doesn't hurt, but it has something in it".
Mucus. I told her that mucus running from your nose and down your throat doesn't feel good, but it doesn't mean you are sick. She says "But I can't breath!". She can breath. Does it hurt? "No....but when I swallow my throat does this ( she shows me the open and shut sign)". I told her that her throat is supposed to "contract" when she swallows, that it means it's getting smaller then bigger...then smaller then bigger. When people swallow that is what a throat does.
That's normal. Then she asks me..."But does that mean my throat will close?!!!!?" "Am I going to DIE!".......NO! You are NOT going to DIE! You just have BOOGERS in your throat! "What are boogers?"
I tell her it's mucus, that stuff running down your throat Precious is called mucus...they are also called boogers!:) "WHAT!? Will it HURT ME?!" At this point I want to go to bed crying too!!!........I recently told a friend I am going to stop praying for patience. It just makes it worse when I pray for patience. :) I'll keep you posted unless we get sucked up by the vacuum or killed by some mad mucus disease.
Also, you can't plow the vacuum into the wall and then back it into the banister. Our house is starting to show the nicks, dings and holes in the walls and that part right above the floor....there's a name for it, but it's slipped my forgetful mind.
:) After that we will have Mucus 101. Precious, mucus will NOT kill you....I'm pretty sure. Precious came home from school because her throat hurt. She called the first time and mentioned it. I asked the nurse if she had a fever. She said no. So I asked Precious if she felt sick enough to come home and go to bed and stay there. No computer, no outside, nothing....just bed. She said no, she wanted to stay at school. Then about 5 min later the phone rings again....now she's crying "My throat is worse!" I remind her that I can come and get her, but she'll have to come home and go to bed and rest...because she's sick. She says "Okay, come get me". When we are leaving the school she says "My throat doesn't hurt, but it has something in it".
Mucus. I told her that mucus running from your nose and down your throat doesn't feel good, but it doesn't mean you are sick. She says "But I can't breath!". She can breath. Does it hurt? "No....but when I swallow my throat does this ( she shows me the open and shut sign)". I told her that her throat is supposed to "contract" when she swallows, that it means it's getting smaller then bigger...then smaller then bigger. When people swallow that is what a throat does.
That's normal. Then she asks me..."But does that mean my throat will close?!!!!?" "Am I going to DIE!".......NO! You are NOT going to DIE! You just have BOOGERS in your throat! "What are boogers?"
I tell her it's mucus, that stuff running down your throat Precious is called mucus...they are also called boogers!:) "WHAT!? Will it HURT ME?!" At this point I want to go to bed crying too!!!........I recently told a friend I am going to stop praying for patience. It just makes it worse when I pray for patience. :) I'll keep you posted unless we get sucked up by the vacuum or killed by some mad mucus disease.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - Love and Logic?
I really like the love and logic parenting technique.
It works, when you use it. :) The key is patience. Sometimes it turns out to
be me just being frustrated and not approaching a situation with patience. Yesterday I was actually patient. It happens sometimes :). It was in the 30's here. Cold! I told the kids to dress warm before we left. They all came outside to the car dressed warm except for Precious. She had on a short sleeve shirt, shorts and flip flops. I said "Precious, I said to dress warm. Is that warm?" She told me "I am not cold. I will be okay." I just said, okay....let's go :) It's in the 30's.....freezing. She walks outside to the car, comes to my car window and said "Mom, can I go upstairs and get on pants?" See....she figured it out. No arguing, no yelling....just love and logic. I think I use love and logic techniques more when it comes to winter. The kids don't want to wear a hat, or gloves, etc....so I just say okay. The next time they wear the hat or gloves because they realize they'll be more comfortable. There are times love and logic just doesn't work for me....like yesterday at the mall. Sometimes I just have to be a meanie mom. Today I am in the delimma of Precious and Kekeli and I wanting to go see a movie, but Shannan doesn't want to go. There's no one here to watch her and she can't stay home by herself. She's adamant about not going. The other two are beside themselves with excitment. I'm in the middle trying to figure out how to handle this in a way that doesn't make my head explode. I do have to say, my life is GREAT....if this is my worst problem today then I am doing just fine...there's my optimism. :) So, love and logic. I'll try to be loving and logical today :) Wish me luck!
It works, when you use it. :) The key is patience. Sometimes it turns out to
be me just being frustrated and not approaching a situation with patience. Yesterday I was actually patient. It happens sometimes :). It was in the 30's here. Cold! I told the kids to dress warm before we left. They all came outside to the car dressed warm except for Precious. She had on a short sleeve shirt, shorts and flip flops. I said "Precious, I said to dress warm. Is that warm?" She told me "I am not cold. I will be okay." I just said, okay....let's go :) It's in the 30's.....freezing. She walks outside to the car, comes to my car window and said "Mom, can I go upstairs and get on pants?" See....she figured it out. No arguing, no yelling....just love and logic. I think I use love and logic techniques more when it comes to winter. The kids don't want to wear a hat, or gloves, etc....so I just say okay. The next time they wear the hat or gloves because they realize they'll be more comfortable. There are times love and logic just doesn't work for me....like yesterday at the mall. Sometimes I just have to be a meanie mom. Today I am in the delimma of Precious and Kekeli and I wanting to go see a movie, but Shannan doesn't want to go. There's no one here to watch her and she can't stay home by herself. She's adamant about not going. The other two are beside themselves with excitment. I'm in the middle trying to figure out how to handle this in a way that doesn't make my head explode. I do have to say, my life is GREAT....if this is my worst problem today then I am doing just fine...there's my optimism. :) So, love and logic. I'll try to be loving and logical today :) Wish me luck!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Life on Planet Hansen - As Planet Hansen Turns
Sometimes I feel like I am living my own soap opera. :) It's a reality show, only no camera's are rolling. Some days I DO NOT WANT to be the coolaid mom! Some days I don't want all of my neighbors kids over. That being said, I am a grown up and can't lay down on the floor and kick and cry. I think it'd be theraputic though. :)
So, today I tried to do a GOOD thing for my kids. I took them to buy halloween costumes. First we went to Walgreens and found nothing. Then we went to Target and they didn't like those. After we went to Target we went to the mall to their halloween store. Kekeli, Keanu and Shannan found theirs first. Precious finallyyyy found a costume. Kekeli saw that it looked like hers so she ( Kekeli ) skulked ( is that a word? :) back to where she got hers and put it back and pouted. Precious went and put hers back and got a different one and told Kekeli to go get the one she had. Kekeli refused. I told Kekeli "Go get your costume, we are about to go". She just parked herself in the middle of the store, folded her arms and gave the " I'm the most badly treated teenager in the universe!" look. Everyone had their stuff, but Kekeli, so I said one more time "Kekeli, we are leaving here in a few minutes. Get your costume now or you will miss out and not get one." She just stood her ground, gave me her look, kept her arms folded and looked me in the eye and said nothing. Didn't move, didn't talk, didn't do anything. She was telling me ( without words ) that she isnt going to do what I say. I said "Okay, go outside of the store right now and wait for me." We were supposed to go to lunch after, but I marched everyone to the car and we drove home. I talked to "them" ( Kekeli) in the car about how one person's bad mood or rude behavior can ruin the fun for everyone and that now we are going home to eat sandwiches. That's what we did. She pouted for about another 3 hours. I told her to go and pout where others couldn't see her. She likes to lay across the table like and not talk to people or answer them and just do the "teen routine"....I always want to play Simple Plan ( the music group) when she's acting like this. They have songs perfect for moody teens. The hardest part of this for me is that she's the "quiet one"...the one who gives me little trouble. When she does she does a good job though. Today has been a very long day. In the end I don't know if making her leave the store, telling her she lost her chance at a costume ( I had warned her that if she didn't get one there she wouldn't get one), and grounding her from TV and computer for her behavior will make a difference....or if she'll just think "I hate that woman ( me ) and I want to go back to Ghana." I think she knows we love her and that she's safe here and we want the best for her. I hope she does. So, that's today's episode of As Planet Hansen Turns....and the day's not over yet! I know it could be worse....
So, today I tried to do a GOOD thing for my kids. I took them to buy halloween costumes. First we went to Walgreens and found nothing. Then we went to Target and they didn't like those. After we went to Target we went to the mall to their halloween store. Kekeli, Keanu and Shannan found theirs first. Precious finallyyyy found a costume. Kekeli saw that it looked like hers so she ( Kekeli ) skulked ( is that a word? :) back to where she got hers and put it back and pouted. Precious went and put hers back and got a different one and told Kekeli to go get the one she had. Kekeli refused. I told Kekeli "Go get your costume, we are about to go". She just parked herself in the middle of the store, folded her arms and gave the " I'm the most badly treated teenager in the universe!" look. Everyone had their stuff, but Kekeli, so I said one more time "Kekeli, we are leaving here in a few minutes. Get your costume now or you will miss out and not get one." She just stood her ground, gave me her look, kept her arms folded and looked me in the eye and said nothing. Didn't move, didn't talk, didn't do anything. She was telling me ( without words ) that she isnt going to do what I say. I said "Okay, go outside of the store right now and wait for me." We were supposed to go to lunch after, but I marched everyone to the car and we drove home. I talked to "them" ( Kekeli) in the car about how one person's bad mood or rude behavior can ruin the fun for everyone and that now we are going home to eat sandwiches. That's what we did. She pouted for about another 3 hours. I told her to go and pout where others couldn't see her. She likes to lay across the table like and not talk to people or answer them and just do the "teen routine"....I always want to play Simple Plan ( the music group) when she's acting like this. They have songs perfect for moody teens. The hardest part of this for me is that she's the "quiet one"...the one who gives me little trouble. When she does she does a good job though. Today has been a very long day. In the end I don't know if making her leave the store, telling her she lost her chance at a costume ( I had warned her that if she didn't get one there she wouldn't get one), and grounding her from TV and computer for her behavior will make a difference....or if she'll just think "I hate that woman ( me ) and I want to go back to Ghana." I think she knows we love her and that she's safe here and we want the best for her. I hope she does. So, that's today's episode of As Planet Hansen Turns....and the day's not over yet! I know it could be worse....
Planet Hansen - Guilt after adoption and in parenting
As a parent we want the best for our children. I truly love them all and want them to be happy and successful. I'm sure you feel the same about your children. Some people think that when you adopt (those people being people who have NOT adopted) that all of these feelings of love and wonderment just magically appear. There ARE seedlings of those feelings, but they have to grow. In order for them to grow they have to be tended to and cared for like you would a newly planted seedling that you want to see grow. Sometimes we may put it in to much sun, or not enough, but eventually we figure out what will help it grow. It takes time, and it's okay! Sometimes I think as adoptive parents that we ( meaning ME and MAYBE others :) suffer from the guilt we feel when we DON'T have the patience or other feelings we thought we'd have with our newly adopted children. There are plenty of guides on how to adopt, what to expect, and about some of the issues that come up in adoptions...BUT each child is different and each family is different so there is really no book that can prepare you. Adoption of older children really doesn't come with a manual. You just have to try and rely on spiritual guidance from the Lord and pray that you do what is right to help your new child adapt to their new home and family. Before you adopt you have to pray for confirmation that it truly IS the right thing for you to be doing and not just something that sounds good. Once you receive your answer then you are able to handle any of the new situations and problems with faith that everything will work out. So, I carry a prayer in my heart daily that I won't screw up my kids. The scary part is ( for me ) ... I won't know if I did the right thing or not until it's to late to go back and change it. So I'll just keep doing my best and hope that when they are older my children will see that I really do/did want the best for them. I love my kids and I want them to be happy.
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